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Your favorite vâction with my family

Your favorite vâction with my family R0X08
Have you ever been on vacation with your family? Personally, I still remember the trip to Hon Son beaches with my family in the summer of 2019. It was a trip that left a number of magnificent memories that I think I will never forget. Previously the trip, we thought together and planned what to do when we got there. All members of my family have prepared clothes, food, personal belongings and put them in suitcases carefully. My mood at that time was consequently excited and looking forward, I couldn't even sleep the night prior to departure. My family got into the car and left for Hon Son at around 4-5 am. The scenery along the way is bright and fascinating, it brings a sense of peace and makes my mood is even more excited. Near noon, We also went to Hon Son beach. After a long journey, everyone was tired, on the contrary when they met the sea, everyone's faces were happy. My first impression of this site is that the scene is extremely beautiful, bustling, and has a sense of closeness. After finding the hotel and packing my luggage, my family rested and had lunch, the lunches at the beach are always full of fresh seafood. In the afternoon, my parents took me and my younger brother to the beach for a walk. The beach is now crowded with tourists from a number of various places, on the contrary they are immensely generous and friendly. Besides, the cool blue sea water dispels the heat of summer. These days, my family does a plethora of things and has good memories together, since then I feel that my family's feelings are more connected and understand each other better. I was also admissible to visit numerous places by my parents, every place was be very place was beautiful and left me with many deep impressions as well as new knowledge. We took a number of great photos together here, and it will be the most cherished souvenir of this trip. Hopefully in the future, if I have the opportunity, my family will come back to this site again, which has given me a number of wonderful memories with my loved ones and also helps me feel more comfortable and optimistic.
Have you ever been on vacation with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
?
Personally
, I
still
remember the trip to Hon Son
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beaches
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in the summer of 2019. It was a trip that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of magnificent memories that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I will never forget.

Previously the trip, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
together and planned what to do when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
there. All members of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have prepared clothes, food, personal belongings and put them in suitcases
carefully
. My mood at that time was
consequently
excited and looking forward, I couldn't even sleep the night prior to departure. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
into the car and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for Hon Son at around 4-5 am. The scenery along the way is bright and fascinating, it brings a sense of peace and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
my mood is even more excited. Near noon, We
also
went to Hon Son
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
. After a long journey, everyone
was tired
,
on the contrary
when they met the sea, everyone's faces were happy. My
first
impression of this site is that the scene is
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, bustling, and has a sense of closeness. After finding the hotel and packing my luggage, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
rested and had lunch, the lunches at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
are always full of fresh seafood. In the afternoon, my parents took me and my younger brother to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
for a walk. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beach
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
crowded with tourists from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
,
on the contrary
they are
immensely
generous and friendly.
Besides
, the cool blue sea water dispels the heat of summer. These days, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
does a plethora of things and has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
memories together, since then I feel that my family's feelings are more connected and understand each other better. I was
also
admissible to visit numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
by my parents, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
was
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
me with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
deep impressions
as well
as new knowledge. We took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of great photos together here, and it will be the most cherished souvenir of this trip.

Hopefully
in the future, if I have the opportunity, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back to this site again, which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of wonderful memories with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me feel more comfortable and optimistic.
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IELTS essay Your favorite vâction with my family

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
379 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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