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youngsters are preferring to live alone or with their friends

youngsters are preferring to live alone or with their friends 0wjVG
In todays modern world, youngsters are preferring to live alone or with their friends. but does this really help them grow as an individual is the question. If we analyze the family structures over past few generations, we can observe how the trends are changing from joint families to Individual families and now living alone. Due to busy schedule of parents, there is not much time available for kids to communicate with their parents, share thoughts and opinions on various topics. In some families, parents and children rarely discuss with each other. This is one predominant reason why youngsters lookout for friends to share their inner feelings. After attaining a certain age, youngsters dream of a certain lifestyle right from basics like eating habits, sleeping habits to dating, relationships etc. This might be in contradiction with their parents view. Although independent living has its merits, In my opinion there are adverse effects as well. One of my younger cousin who was class topper till high school joined college and decided to live alone in a studio apartment. This made him loose focus as it was his first time staying alone, went in the wrong direction as there was no adult supervision, got addicted to drugs and eventually failed the first semester. Living with adults or family members is desirable for a millennial. Adults share their wisdom and experiences which guides the youngster in the right direction. When youngsters fail in certain aspects, adults have the skill to bring them out from that negative feeling as they might have gone through similar experiences in life.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
modern world, youngsters
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone or with their friends.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
does this
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them grow as an individual is the question.

If we analyze the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
structures over past few generations, we can observe how the trends are changing from joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to Individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
living alone.

Due to busy schedule of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, there is not much time available for kids to communicate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, share thoughts and opinions on various topics. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and children rarely discuss with each other. This is one predominant reason why youngsters lookout for friends to share their inner feelings.

After attaining a certain age, youngsters dream of a certain lifestyle right from basics like eating habits, sleeping habits to dating, relationships etc. This might be in contradiction with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
view.

Although independent living has its merits, In my opinion there are adverse effects
as well
. One of my younger cousin who was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
topper till high school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
college and decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone in a studio apartment. This made him loose focus as it was his
first
time staying alone, went in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
direction as there was no adult supervision,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
addicted to drugs and
eventually
failed the
first
semester.

Living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members is desirable for
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a millennial
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adults
share their wisdom and experiences which guides the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youngster
in the right direction. When youngsters fail in certain aspects,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to bring them out from that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
feeling as they might have gone through similar experiences in life.
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IELTS essay youngsters are preferring to live alone or with their friends

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
264 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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