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Young people who commit serious crimes such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Young people who commit serious crimes such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults v. 1
Some argue that the garbage from our homes lacks sufficient recycling, and governments can improve this situation by implementing laws, that make it legally mandatory. This essay agrees with this point of view because these rules will help us in producing cost-effective products and in controlling environmental pollution. Many people opine that the current reprocessing of domestic waste is not enough and authorities should make new laws that would enforce this. That is to say, imposing these regulations will encourage corporates to produce more and cheaper recycled products, therefore reducing the cost of using new commodities. To illustrate, this will increase the reuse of plastic from existing bottles instead of using raw material. As a result, the cost of the products will reduce. For example, the annual report published by P&G stated that, when one of the US laws compel them to utilised reused polymers for the containers of their product head and shoulder, the selling price was reduced by 30%. Furthermore, such legislation will encourage people to augment their bio and non-organic waste in recycling plants instead of accumulating in the environment. House waste is extremely hazardous for our soil and ocean, when non-biodegradable trash and e-waste, which is being thrown in the open, will decline, our cities will become healthier, and the likelihood of contamination will decrease. For instance, after the introduction of the recycling Act 2011 in South Africa, people stopped dumping their trash into the open, and the pollution footprint was enormously reduced by 90%. In conclusion, I agree that such legal steps will enforce everyone to recycle their non-commercial waste, and this will make various consumer products cheaper and will aid us in curbing the pollution on earth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that the garbage from our homes lacks sufficient recycling, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this situation by implementing laws, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
legally
mandatory. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in producing cost-effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and in controlling environmental pollution.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
reprocessing of domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new laws that would enforce this.
That is
to say, imposing these regulations will encourage
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
to produce more and cheaper recycled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
therefore
reducing the cost of using new commodities. To illustrate, this will increase the reuse of plastic from existing bottles
instead
of using raw material.
As a result
, the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
For example
, the annual report published by P&G stated that, when one of the US laws compel them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
reused polymers for the containers of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
head and shoulder, the selling price was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by 30%.

Furthermore
, such legislation will encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to augment their bio and non-organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
in recycling plants
instead
of accumulating in the environment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
House
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
is
extremely
hazardous for our soil and ocean, when non-biodegradable trash and e-waste, which is
being thrown
in the open, will decline, our cities will become healthier, and the likelihood of contamination will decrease.
For instance
, after the introduction of the recycling Act 2011 in South Africa,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
dumping their trash into the open, and the pollution footprint was
enormously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by 90%.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that such legal steps will enforce everyone to recycle their non-commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
, and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
various consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
cheaper and will aid us in curbing the pollution on earth.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people who commit serious crimes such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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