Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Young people today are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage.

Young people today are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage. KjW6
It is common believed that nowaday idolize media and sports celebrities who are not a good role model. In my point of view, the drawbacks outweigh the merits. They are potential drawbacks of idolizing famous people. From one stand point, it might cause time-consuming and also financial problems. For example, many teenagers spend abundant amount of money to their idol's good such as albums, or products of the brand that they are represented for. More over, it will lead to bad academic results. Even more serious is that the celebrities who is not a good example can negatively affect youngsters' behaviours. They can imitate their idols' bad habit such as smoking, drinking alcohol and so on. Futhermore, their future may be devastrated because of breaking a law. On the other hand, they are some considerable benefits of admiring idol. Many teenagers can be inspried by sports and media stars through their achievement. For example, sport stars who suceed in their career, earn medals and prize and also bring the pride to their country. This can encourage young people to follow their dream. As a result teenagers can fully develope their potential. In conclusion, the drawbacks of this issue outweigh the merits because teenagers can waste money and time, also imitate bad behaviours of their idols.
It is common believed that
nowaday
idolize media and sports celebrities who are not a
good
role model. In my point of view, the drawbacks outweigh the merits.

They are potential drawbacks of idolizing
famous
people
. From one stand point, it might cause time-consuming and
also
financial problems.
For example
,
many
teenagers
spend abundant amount of money to their idol's
good
such as albums, or products of the brand that they
are represented
for. More over, it will lead to
bad
academic results. Even more serious is that the celebrities who
is
not a
good
example can
negatively
affect youngsters'
behaviours
. They can imitate their idols'
bad
habit such as smoking, drinking alcohol and
so
on.
Futhermore
, their future may be
devastrated
because
of breaking a law.

On the other hand
, they are
some
considerable benefits of admiring idol.
Many
teenagers
can be
inspried
by sports and media stars through their achievement.
For example
, sport stars who
suceed
in their career, earn medals and prize and
also
bring the pride to their country. This can encourage young
people
to follow their dream.
As
a result
teenagers
can
fully
develope
their potential.
In conclusion
, the drawbacks of this issue outweigh the merits
because
teenagers
can waste money and time,
also
imitate
bad
behaviours
of their idols.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Young people today are admiring media and sports stars, even though they do not set a good example. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts