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Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV and international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV and international sporting competitions. 0G6Q
There exist people who think of sports such as boxing and martial arts as a violent activity to be banned from TV as well as international sports competitions. I completely disagree to this view. I believe that martial arts is the sport where any human either women or men can defend themselves in times of danger and threat. Almost every school teaches martial arts these days. Even government in few countries like india has taken initiatives to encourage martial arts. Martial arts is a necessary sport which every girl or women has to learn in a context to safeguard herself from the adverse situations like physical abuse, someone following in a way to cause harm. In the world full of crimes stories and harassment of women, I think martial arts plays a crucial role in shielding from human predators. Also I strongly believe that violence is better answer for violence Secondly, boxing it’s a sport which encourages not only men but also women to show their power in the ring. Boxing helps in building that strength, endurance and speed that one has never experienced before. If at all boxing was banned from international sports competitions then we wouldn’t have seen amazing world champion boxers from rural areas of the countries. One such example is Mary Kom from Manipur, India. To conclude instead of banning sports activities like martial arts and boxing it should be encouraged in every country, organization, educational institutions in the world to make the world a better place to live.
There exist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as boxing and martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as a violent activity to
be banned
from TV
as well
as international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
competitions. I completely disagree to this view. I believe that martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
where any human either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
can defend themselves in times of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
and threat.

Almost every school teaches martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
these days. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in few countries like
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
has taken initiatives to encourage martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
which every girl or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
learn in a context to safeguard herself from the adverse situations like physical abuse, someone following in a way to cause harm. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
full of crimes stories and harassment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
plays a crucial role in shielding from human predators.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
I
strongly
believe that violence is better answer for violence

Secondly
, boxing it’s a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
which encourages not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their power in the ring. Boxing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in building that strength, endurance and speed that one has never experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. If at all boxing
was banned
from international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
competitions then we wouldn’t have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
amazing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
champion boxers from rural areas of the countries. One such example is Mary
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kom
from Manipur, India.

To conclude
instead
of banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities like martial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and boxing it should
be encouraged
in every country, organization, educational institutions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV and international sporting competitions.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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