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Young people in the modern world seem to have more powerfull

Young people in the modern world seem to have more powerfull AgMDw
Nowadays young people are more likely to become more powerful and successful as compared to bygone era. It is believed by some people that youth in this era tend to have more power and influence than any previous young generation. This essay will discuss why this situation is happenend. Out of the all arguments, the strongest one to prove my view is that, In recent year technology have played prominent role in every field. In addition, children in this decade learn new things quicky than past century. Besides that, they tend to get job easily and it is ameliorated their knowledge. That is the main reason why youth have power in this generation. Moreover, In the past we often seen that, people live in large families and nowadays most of the people live in nuclear families. For example, government provides many facilities to give education in young generation On the flip side, the relationship between young and old people have been changed in recent years. Firstly, people in modern era lives in nuclear families and they do not respect old people. In addition, gray-hair people do not know much about the technology. so the correlation of the youger and older people are getting unrespectfull. Secondly, in fast moving era, youngsters tend to spend more time with their friends while old people spent most of the time with their families. So these are the relationship of young and old people. For example, we often seen that majority of children are speaking rudely as compared to bygone era. To conclude, this essay acknowledges that technology plays vital role to break relationship between young and old people.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to become more powerful and successful as compared to bygone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that youth in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
tend to have more power and influence than any previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation. This essay will discuss why this situation is
Possible spelling mistake found.
happenend
.

Out of the all arguments, the strongest one to prove my view is that, In recent year technology have played prominent role in every field.
In addition
, children in this decade learn new
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "things'" or "thing's"?
things
Possible spelling mistake found.
quicky
than past century.
Besides
that, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job
easily
and it
is ameliorated
their knowledge.
That is
the main reason why youth have power in this generation.
Moreover
, In the past we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and nowadays most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities to give education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation

On the flip side, the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in recent years.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in nuclear
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
families and
they do not respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, gray-hair
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people
do not know much about the technology.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
the correlation of the
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youger
and older
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people
are getting
Possible spelling mistake found.
unrespectfull
.
Secondly
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
, youngsters tend to spend more time with their friends while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spent most of the time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
these are the relationship of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that majority of children are speaking
rudely
as compared to bygone era.

To conclude
, this essay acknowledges that technology plays vital role to break relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Young people in the modern world seem to have more powerfull

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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