Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Young people enjoy their life more than older people? do you agree or disagree?

Young people enjoy their life more than older people? AjQOw
All of us begin his life from an innocent baby, know his parents and recognize their voices just. But when we become bigger we will immerse ourselves more with society to learn new things, in every moment we pass or fall we enjoy to push up ourselves toward the new days. we pass in three levels starting from childhood to become dependent young to end up in old age. many people agree that young enjoy more than older in their life and many agree to the reverse situation. personally, I believe that young people enjoy their life more than older. I feel this way for two mean reasons, Which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, young people have a strong physical body, at this age, they have the highest muscular power as the research showed. I think this issue plays a vital rule in their enduring ability to this hard life, so they can work hard without any giving up. Also, their intellectual level is full of power, so their ability to learn new things will be amazing. Their active brain active can solve many problems and come up with many advantages solution to society and may raise their marks or attitudes in their studying. I want to give an example of my hero man, my dad, he always told me about his young stage, when he was studying Aeronautical Engineering, he was one of the pioneer who always getting high marks, beside this he was working in a company for three days in week in an airport for 8 hours to help his parent financially, also my dad got patent for creating new engine that it is used now in many airplanes like A322. , this engine make a breakthrough because he solves the fuel consuming problem. This power when he was young but now he is sick and can not do any hard work, but he stills my hero. Secondly, I think that the young have more self-motivation to trigger them self to try and know everything new. this young soul will be calm and wiser when they become older. The young always try to make their decisions alone to see the results even if it will be bad, they tend to increase their experiment with a good soul can carry the difficult and easy consequences. the older cannot stand and face any problem or sadness that this may cause health problems or disease like diabetes. Supporting example for this, the young always like to try some adventurous sport like cars racing, they drive in high-speed to win just in meaningless reward, but this means to them a challenge to try and win in the new thing. In conclusion, even that many people think that older people have more experience and they are wiser in their decisions, I strongly believe that young people enjoy in their life more than older, because of their physical and healthy ability, also because of their self-motivation they have in their soul.
All of us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
from an innocent baby, know his parents and recognize their voices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when we become bigger we will immerse ourselves more with society to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things, in every moment we pass or fall we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
to push up ourselves toward the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
days.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
pass in three levels starting from childhood to become dependent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the reverse situation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
personally
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
. I feel this way for two mean reasons, Which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a strong physical body, at this age, they have the highest muscular power as the research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this issue plays a vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in their enduring ability to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
without any giving up.
Also
, their intellectual level is full of power,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their ability to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things will be amazing. Their active brain active can solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages solution to society and may raise their marks or attitudes in their studying. I want to give an example of my hero
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, my dad, he always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me about his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
stage, when he was studying Aeronautical Engineering, he was one of the pioneer who always getting high marks, beside this he was working in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for three days in week in an airport for 8 hours to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
his parent
financially
,
also
my dad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
patent for creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
engine that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
airplanes like A322.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
this engine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a breakthrough
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he solves the fuel consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. This power when he was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is sick and can not do any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he stills my hero.

Secondly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
have more self-motivation to trigger them self to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
Did you mean "now"?
know
everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
soul will be calm and wiser when they become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
always try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their decisions alone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the results even if it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, they tend to increase their experiment with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
soul can carry the difficult and easy consequences.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
cannot stand and face any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
or sadness that this may cause health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
or disease like diabetes. Supporting example for this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
always like to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adventurous sport like cars racing, they drive in high-speed to win
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in meaningless reward,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this means to them a challenge to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
win in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
thing.

In conclusion
, even that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they are wiser in their decisions, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their physical and healthy ability,
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their self-motivation they have in their soul.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Young people enjoy their life more than older people?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
503 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Young people enjoy their life more than older people? do you agree or disagree?