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By passing the time, as life has become more complicated and people have learn more abilities.

By passing the time, as life has become more complicated and people have learn more abilities. aw6D7
We are in an age of technology providing people with more complicated life makes people learn more unique abilities to accomplish their goals. Although some people believe that today’s life has been more convenient because technology has facilitated our lives from many aspects, others are of the opinion that without an doubt nowadays, people should have broad knowledge both practically and academically to be successful. In my view, complicated life has required individuals to have many practical abilities to fulfil their desires for some reasons. The first aspect to point out is that globalization has made people learn more social skills. There are many students who have strong tendency to study in USA. when they arrive, they will experience cultural-shock. Since there are a large number of people from various countries residing in USA, new students must be able to adjust to new situations which demands learning new language them to communicate with foreigners. Besides, they need to know how to make friends with these people with various culture, outlooks on life, and customs. Newcomers need to have comprehensive knowledge about various countries which enables to develop their friendships with these people. In order to improve their social skills, they should surf the Internet and gather many information then analyse their gatherings to be successful in their communication. The more further aspect is that there are some practical skills essential for people to get better jobs. Time-management is such an important issue should be consider. Improvement in technology provides many computer games and social networks such facebook and twitter which prevent young youth from allocating sufficient time for their their purposes. If people want to achieve whatever they have desired, they should learn to make the best use of their times by making organized plan. Moreover, by facing growing populations, increasing in unemployment rate, and highly competitive job situations, children need to have such multifaceted skills. For example, a software engineer in order to get a high-paying job, he should know not only about writing program but also about network, which increase his chance to gain his desirable times. To sum up, not only are people facing globalization, but they also are experiencing tight competition to get their trustworthy jobs. These aims will not be fulfilled unless people learn how to perfectly communicate with others, how to take the advantages of their times, and how to learn many practical tasks to exceed others. I hope that all people understand that today’s complicated life is so demanding if they want to succeed.
We are in an age of technology providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more complicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more unique abilities to accomplish their goals. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has been more convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
technology has facilitated our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects, others are of the opinion that without
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
doubt nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have broad knowledge both
practically
and
academically
to be successful. In my view, complicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has required individuals to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practical abilities to fulfil their desires for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

The
first
aspect to point out is that globalization has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students who have strong tendency to study
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
they arrive, they will experience cultural-shock. Since there are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various countries residing
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
, new students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be able to adjust to new situations which demands learning new language them to communicate with foreigners.
Besides
, they need to know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with various culture, outlooks on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and customs. Newcomers need to have comprehensive knowledge about various countries which enables to develop their friendships with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, they should surf the Internet and gather
Possible agreement error. The noun information seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much information", "a good deal of information".
many information
then
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
their gatherings to be successful in their communication.

The more
further
aspect is that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Time-management is such an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue should be
Consider using the past participle "considered"?
consider
. Improvement in technology provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
computer games and social networks such
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and twitter which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
young youth from allocating sufficient time for
Possible typo: you repeated a word
their their
purposes. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to achieve whatever they have desired, they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their times by making organized plan.
Moreover
, by facing growing populations, increasing in unemployment rate, and
highly
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
situations, children need to have such multifaceted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For example
, a software engineer in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a high-paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, he should know not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about writing program
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
about network, which increase his chance to gain his desirable times.

To sum up, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
facing globalization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
are experiencing tight competition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their trustworthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. These aims will not
be fulfilled
unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to
perfectly
communicate with others, how to take the advantages of their times, and how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practical tasks to exceed others. I hope that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s complicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
demanding if they want to succeed.
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IELTS essay By passing the time, as life has become more complicated and people have learn more abilities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
421 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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