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writing ielts task 2 the gap between the rich and the poor

writing ielts task 2 the gap between the rich and the poor JwplE
There no doubt that the developing of economic together with high living standard leading to wealth gap between the rich and the poor. These becoming so evidence. Here is a well-known phenomenon in long time. It might induce variety of consequences such as unrest society. In my perspective, the origin of inequality comes as the difference between viewpoint of the rich and the poors’ mind, follow to income inequality and education condition. People who was born to the purple and inherited giantic fortune from parents would become the rich. Rich children have the higher quality education system, so when grow up, they have no impedement to make ends meet, advanturous in conscience and effortless to make profit investment. As the result, the percentage of making success would be higher and achieve the goal seem to be farer. In contrast, when the poor striving hard for a change but nothing happen, they just rely on luckiness, imagine that god might appear and become great importance to help them transform their life. If the fortunation without slaming the door, they would be buried themselves in a barrage of complaints and struggling. After that, they might commit crime, starting the life of violence and killing. To face up with this issue, we need to take flexible solutions, this situation cannot last too long and it necessary to find the way out. First and foremost, government should supported residents sources of finance for doing business, medical care and children have quality education system. For instant, they should have budget to discount some kinds of household fee including water, electricity, gas and so on. They also encourage children in poor family go to school and building school in rural area, volunteer uniform and school supplies. Moreover, strict laws should be enacted to balance tax among people by imposing tax on rich class or have low-interest loan for farmers and workers. In conclusion, our human being should be treated equally in all aspects to bridge the gap between the rich and the poor.
There no doubt that the developing of economic together with high living standard leading to wealth gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. These becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
evidence. Here is a well-known phenomenon in long time. It might induce variety of consequences such as unrest society.

In my perspective, the origin of inequality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as the difference between viewpoint of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
poors
’ mind, follow to income inequality and education condition.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
was born
to the purple and inherited
Possible spelling mistake found.
giantic
fortune from parents would become the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rich
children have the higher quality education system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when grow up, they have no
Possible spelling mistake found.
impedement
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
advanturous
in conscience and effortless to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
profit investment. As the result, the percentage of making success would be higher and achieve the goal seem to be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "farther", the comparative form of the adjective 'far'?
farer
.
In contrast
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
striving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nothing happen, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
rely on luckiness, imagine that god might appear and become great importance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them transform their life. If the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fortunation
without
Possible spelling mistake found.
slaming
the door, they would
be buried
themselves in a barrage of complaints and struggling. After that, they might commit crime, starting the life of violence and killing.

To face up with this issue, we need to take flexible solutions, this situation cannot last too long and
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
necessary to find the way out.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "support"
supported
residents sources of finance for doing business, medical care and children have quality education system. For instant, they should have budget to discount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of household fee including water, electricity, gas and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. They
also
encourage children in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
family go to school and building school in rural area, volunteer uniform and school supplies.
Moreover
, strict laws should
be enacted
to balance tax among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by imposing tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or have low-interest loan for farmers and workers.

In conclusion
, our human being should
be treated
equally
in all aspects to bridge the gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
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IELTS essay writing ielts task 2 the gap between the rich and the poor

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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