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Would be better place of women own leadership .

Would be better place of women own leadership. 6aE6K
A person in a leadership seat should have all the qualities like knowledge, experience, emotions and so on. Some people argue that if more women were leaders then the world will be better as compared to now. I partially agree with the given statement. To begin with, the factors that why there would ve more ladies in politics. Firstly, they would develop the rules snd regulations for girls safety. To illustrate, girls safety is a big topic of concern all over the world, if ladies had power in her hand, it would never be a topic of concern. Secondly, women would take decision by thinking about all the conditions like emotionally, financially and so on. For instance, when she take any decision, she would think about the poor people that how will they manage. And corruption would be disappeared she would distribute as much as she could to needy people. And the condition would be better now. However, knowledge about all the rules regulations also matter. For example, when a doctor does the operation or surgery, he has all the information regarding the patient situation, how to treat him by following the procedure carefully. As same as a doctor, politicians should all have knowledge about the public and his problem. Moreover, the experience should also playing a vital role in politics. As an inexperienced doctor do operation, there are a lot of risks that the operation will be successful or not. Even though a politician might be able to do politics, he will never be able to fulfil the needs of the public and makes them feel
A person in a leadership seat should have all the qualities like knowledge, experience, emotions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that if more women were leaders then the world will be better
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the factors that why there would ve more ladies in politics.
Firstly
, they would develop the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
Possible spelling mistake found.
snd
regulations for girls safety. To illustrate, girls safety is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
topic of concern all over the world, if ladies had power in her hand, it would never be a topic of concern.
Secondly
, women would take decision by thinking about all the conditions like
emotionally
,
financially
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
, when she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "takes", "took".
take
any decision, she would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that how will they manage. And corruption would
be disappeared
she would distribute as much as she could to needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. And the condition would be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

However
, knowledge about all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
regulations
also
matter.
For example
, when a doctor does the operation or surgery, he has all the information regarding the patient situation, how to treat him by following the procedure
carefully
. As same as a doctor, politicians should all have knowledge about the public and his problem.
Moreover
, the experience should
also
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "play"
playing
a vital role in politics. As an inexperienced doctor do operation, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
that the operation will be successful or not.
Even though
a politician might be able to do politics, he will never be able to fulfil the needs of the public and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
feel
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IELTS essay Would be better place of women own leadership.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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