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the effects of traffic congestion

the effects of traffic congestion 73OL5
With the increasingly number of vehicles, especially cars…, traffic congestion is one of the persistent problems in many major cities. In fact, it causes a lot of negative effects on people’s health and their personal life, as well as on the economic development and the environment of these areas. The first serious disadvantage of usually suffering from congestion is that it harms for people’s health. First of all, it causes respiratory problems. During rush hour, road users can inhale dust or engine exhaust. Consequently, it increases the risk of developing diseases such as asthma, bronchitis or even lung cancer. Besides, being stuck in traffic makes people stressed, when they suffers from noise pollution made by car horn sound or moving under the bad weather in a long time. Finally, it also wastes much their energy because of the slow movement of vehicles. The second disadvantage is that impacting badly on personal life of people. To begin with, it takes people much time commuting. They have to move their vehicle little by little, even stop completely at traffic hotpots. In addition, many statistics show that people tend to leave home earlier and return their home later in big cities. Moreover, it delays important works, for example picking up kids from school. Another negative impact is that it contributes to cause the environmental destruction. In the first place, it makes the air quality become increasingly lower. Besides, it contributes to global warming due to a high mount of the emission of greenhouse gases, released directly into environment. Furthermore, those kind of gasses also damage to the ozone layer. The final disadvantage is that it causes considerable damage to the national economic development. On the one hand, it has wasted the state budget. In fact, authorities spent thousands of billions of dong to find out a project that can ease traffic congestion or improve infrastructure. However, there has been no progress so far. On the other hand, it also reduces labor efficiency. To sum up, traffic congestion is a head-aching issue that causes health damage, stagnant personal life, the environmental destruction and the economic damage. Therefore, authorities should take more timely measures to tackle it as sooner as better. Personally, if everyone’s awareness of participating in traffic is raised, the problem can be solved in the near future.
With the
increasingly
number of vehicles,
especially
cars…,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
is one of the persistent problems in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
major cities. In fact, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health and their personal life,
as well
as on the economic development and the environment of these areas.

The
first
serious disadvantage of
usually
suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
is that it harms for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
respiratory problems. During rush hour, road users can inhale dust or engine exhaust.
Consequently
, it increases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of developing diseases such as asthma, bronchitis or even lung cancer.
Besides
,
being stuck
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, when they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "suffer"
suffers
from noise pollution made by car horn sound or moving under the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weather in a long time.
Finally
, it
also
wastes much their energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the slow movement of vehicles.

The second disadvantage is that impacting
badly
on personal life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
much time commuting. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
their vehicle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
completely at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
hotpots.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
home earlier and return their home later in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
Moreover
, it delays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
works,
for example
picking up kids from school.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact is that it contributes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
the environmental destruction. In the
first
place, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the air quality become
increasingly
lower.
Besides
, it contributes to global warming due to a high mount of the emission of greenhouse gases, released
directly
into environment.
Furthermore
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "those kinds"?
those kind
of gasses
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
to the ozone layer.

The final disadvantage is that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
to the national economic development. On the one hand, it has wasted the state budget. In fact, authorities spent thousands of billions of dong to find out a project that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
infrastructure.
However
, there has been no progress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far.
On the other hand
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
labor efficiency.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
congestion
is a head-aching issue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
, stagnant personal life, the environmental destruction and the economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
.
Therefore
, authorities should take more timely measures to tackle it as
Did you mean "soon"?
sooner
as better.
Personally
, if everyone’s awareness of participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is raised
, the problem can
be solved
in the near future.
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IELTS essay the effects of traffic congestion

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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