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writing a passage of about 150 words in length, expressing why you want to join the training program and showing your own opinion about the Women’s Empowerment through ICT Skills and Leadership Education

writing a passage of about 150 words in length, expressing why you want to join the training program and showing your own opinion about the Women’s Empowerment through ICT Skills and Leadership Education Do2qj
After seeing the registration announcement from my university and doing some research about the online program, I find it fascinating if I can be a part of this training for the following reasons. Firstly, the program provides participants with learning materials about Python - a popular and powerful programming language in this day and age, AI and Reactive Native, all of which help to build a firm knowledge foundation for our future with technology as well as strengthen ICT Skills in us. Moreover, I will have the chance to immerse myself in an English environment and approach a variety of perspectives towards Women’s Leadership from people in two different countries. I believe that after the online training program, I will widen my horizons, know how to apply theory to practice and be confident to step out of my comfort zone to make changes. Therefore, as a technophile and an eager learner, I consider this as a challenging yet noteworthy opportunity for me to seize. Regarding the “Women’s Empowerment through ICT Skills and Leadership Education”, personally, I think that by equipping women at university level with essential intellectual tools and competencies in leadership, this education serves as a practical goal to improve women’s self-perception of their capabilities, foster their self-confidence in taking the lead and encountering obstacles in the environment. As a result, it contributes to eliminate harmful traditional points of view towards women in the workplace and strengthen gender equality in every industry and employment position, paving the road for them to reach the top of the career ladder. All things considered, the Women’s Empowerment through ICT Skills and Leadership Education brings real benefits for female students and holds the key to achieve feminism's goals.
After seeing the registration announcement from my university and doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research about the online program, I find it fascinating if I can be a part of this training for the following reasons.
Firstly
, the program provides participants with learning materials about Python
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
a popular and powerful programming language in this day and age, AI and Reactive Native, all of which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to build a firm knowledge foundation for our future with technology
as well
as strengthen ICT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Skills
in us.
Moreover
, I will have the chance to immerse myself in an English environment and approach a variety of perspectives towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leadership
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. I believe that after the online training program, I will widen my horizons, know how to apply theory to practice and be confident to step out of my comfort zone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
Therefore
, as a technophile and an eager learner, I consider this as a challenging
yet
noteworthy opportunity for me to seize.

Regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Women’s
Empowerment through ICT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leadership
Education”,
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by equipping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
at university level with essential intellectual tools and competencies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
, this education serves as a practical goal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
self-perception of their capabilities, foster their self-confidence in taking the lead and encountering obstacles in the environment.
As a result
, it contributes to eliminate harmful traditional points of view towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the workplace and strengthen gender equality in every industry and employment position, paving the road for them to reach the top of the career ladder. All things considered, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women’s
Empowerment through ICT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leadership
Education brings real benefits for female students and holds the key to achieve feminism's goals.
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IELTS essay writing a passage of about 150 words in length, expressing why you want to join the training program and showing your own opinion about the Women’s Empowerment through ICT Skills and Leadership Education

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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