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Write an opinion paragraph about the following topic: Disadvantages of modern technology

Write an opinion paragraph about the following topic: Disadvantages of modern technology 73qpb
I strongly approve of the opinion that modern technology results in certain bad effects. To start off, modern technology causes time consuming. To put it simply, smartphones, video games or televisions that people use almost the time lead to the lack of space for another healthy activities like reading books, finish homework or hanging out with friends. People pay more attention to these devices and forget their aims and purposes in real life. For example, there is a numerous number of students in Huynh Thuc Khang secondary school choose not to finalise the homeworks as well as the assignments in order to spend almost time on playing games. Additionally, abusing modern technology will reduce the creativity of people. That is, people let the technology decide on all their problems and they will not have any deep thinking about the issues they are facing. According to the Healthy and Fitness forum, people may suffer from some health problems in the future if they continue to use technology too much. These are the decline in the cognitive system or even some chronic diseases such as backache and the malfunction in some parts of people's bodies.
I
strongly
approve of the opinion that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
results in certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
causes
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
. To put it
simply
, smartphones, video games or televisions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
almost the time lead to the lack of space for another healthy activities like reading books, finish homework or hanging out with friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
pay more attention to these devices and forget their aims and purposes in real life.
For example
, there is a numerous number of students in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Huynh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thuc
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khang
secondary school choose not to
Possible spelling mistake. 'finalise' is British English.
finalise
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
as well
as the assignments in order to spend almost time on playing games.
Additionally
, abusing modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the creativity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
That is
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
decide on all their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems and
they will not have any deep thinking about the issues they are facing. According to the Healthy and Fitness forum,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health problems in the future if they continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
too much. These are the decline in the cognitive system or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
chronic diseases such as backache and the malfunction in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's bodies.
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IELTS essay Write an opinion paragraph about the following topic: Disadvantages of modern technology

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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