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Write an essay about the pros and cons of urbanisation

Write an essay about the pros and cons of urbanisation AwQM3
In modern times, more and more people tend to migrate to large cities due to their huge benefits which help them lead a better life. Nonetheless, they also face up to several problems caused by the increasing population. In this essay, the advantages and disadvantages of urbanization will be discussed in detail. One of the biggest sake of moving to big cities is that people are more likely to have more chances to get a better job. In rural areas, the demand for work is higher and there are also many kinds of jobs, so it is easier for people to find jobs. Besides, people leaving from rural areas to cities will have easy access to medical facilities. Numerous amenities such as ventilators, ultrasound machines, cuffs…. are so modern that patients will be quickly and effectively cured. Finally, high living standard is an important factor attracting most people to come to cosmopolitan citites. There are a lot of types of vehicles serving for travelling; amusement parks, cinemas, theatres, … serving for entertainment as well. On the other hand, urbanization has its own many drawbacks. First of all, as people continue to come to large cities, pollution become a major issue. Exhaust fumes emitted from cars, motorbikes and others make the air quality seriously decreased, and the sound of these means of transport also cause noise pollution. What is more, the rate of unemployment is considerably rising due to overpopulation and individuals’ lack of qualification, so it is difficult for people to find a suitable profession. Lastly, urbanization is one of the main reasons behind the increasing crime rate in urban areas. It is the fact that people living in slums have insufficiently good condition. Consequently, they decide to engage in criminal activities for their survival. To sum up, it is undeniable that the advantages of urbanization brings to us are huge. However, all of us should be careful with the issues that it causes, which can negatively affect our lives in the future.
In modern times, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to migrate to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
due to their huge benefits which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them lead a better life. Nonetheless, they
also
face up to several problems caused by the increasing population. In this essay, the advantages and disadvantages of urbanization will
be discussed
in detail.

One of the biggest sake of moving to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to have more chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better job. In rural areas, the demand for work is higher and there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of jobs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find jobs.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
leaving from rural areas to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
will have easy access to medical facilities. Numerous amenities such as ventilators, ultrasound machines, cuffs….
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
modern that patients will be
quickly
and
effectively
cured.
Finally
, high living standard is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor attracting most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to cosmopolitan
Possible spelling mistake found.
citites
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
types of vehicles serving for travelling; amusement parks, cinemas,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, … serving for entertainment
as well
.

On the other hand
, urbanization has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, pollution become a major issue. Exhaust fumes emitted from cars, motorbikes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the air quality
seriously
decreased, and the sound of these means of transport
also
cause noise pollution.
What is more
, the rate of unemployment is
considerably
rising due to overpopulation and individuals’ lack of qualification,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find a suitable profession.
Lastly
, urbanization is one of the main reasons behind the increasing crime rate in urban areas. It is the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in slums have
insufficiently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition.
Consequently
, they decide to engage in criminal activities for their survival.

To sum up, it is undeniable that the advantages of urbanization brings to us are huge.
However
, all of us should be careful with the issues that it causes, which can
negatively
affect our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the future.
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IELTS essay Write an essay about the pros and cons of urbanisation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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