Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays, it is obvious that not all students performing well at school are successful in work.

Nowadays, it is obvious that not all students performing well at school are successful in work. q0Djw
Nowadays, it is obvious that not all students performing well at school are successful in work. Conversely, students that fail in school may get ahead in many fields. In my opinion, I totally agree with that view. Besides studying at school, I think desires are one of the most important things to succeed. Why pupils who are not excellent at school but be the winners in life? Firstly, they have their dreams. They can spend hours researching something they feel interested in, for instance, robots, games, technology, etc…As a result, they don’t have enough time to do homework or revise before taking exams. However, after a long time, they become skilled in a particular field. Take Henry Ford, for example- he used to be not interested in learning at school. He only was fond of machinery so he dropped out at 16 and founded his own company. Today it’s thriving and become one of the most famous motor brands. Secondly, these students do not be scared to be unsuccessful. They have experienced time and time again fail. Hence, when working, they know that failure is part and parcel of success. They learn from their mistakes, rethink and find a better strategy. Whereas, pupils who do well at school have difficulty facing up to mistakes. Mistakes make them feel scared and impressed so it’s hard for them to get over. Last but not least, that students do not spend all their time on learning theory allows them to improve soft skills, which are indispensable in work and life. If they do practice teamwork skills regularly, they will complete tasks much more efficiently than the others. They also make their colleagues, managers pleasant. It can be denied that teamwork skills play an important role and contribute to their success. From my point of view, apart from study hard at school, we need to have desires and goals to be successful in life. After setting realistic goals, we will have the motivation to work hard to achieve them. We need to try our best, spend enough time, and attempt to do them. When getting into trouble, we should not give up, just confront problems. In the end, success will come to us. In summary, not only good performing students but also students who fail at school can succeed. As long as they try their best and practice essential skills regularly, they will be the winners in life.
Nowadays, it is obvious that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
performing well at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are successful in work.
Conversely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that fail in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
ahead in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that view.
Besides
studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
desires are one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things to succeed.

Why pupils who are not excellent at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
be the winners in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
?
Firstly
, they have their dreams. They can spend hours researching something they feel interested in,
for instance
, robots, games, technology, etc…
Add a space between sentences
As
a result, they don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do homework or revise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
taking exams.
However
, after a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they become skilled in a particular field. Take Henry Ford,
for example
- he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be not interested in learning at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
was fond of machinery
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he dropped out at 16 and founded his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
it’s thriving and become one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
motor brands.

Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
be scared
to be unsuccessful. They have experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
again fail.
Hence
, when working, they know that failure is part and parcel of success. They learn from their mistakes, rethink and find a better strategy.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, pupils who do well at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have difficulty facing up to mistakes. Mistakes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel scared and impressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not spend all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on learning theory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which are indispensable in work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If they do practice teamwork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
regularly
, they will complete tasks much more
efficiently
than the others. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their colleagues, managers pleasant. It can
be denied
that teamwork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role and contribute to their success.

From my point of view, apart from study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, we need to have desires and goals to be successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. After setting realistic goals, we will have the motivation to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve them. We need to try our best, spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and attempt to do them. When getting into trouble, we should not give up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
confront problems. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, success will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to us.

In summary, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who fail at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can succeed. As long as they try their best and practice essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
regularly
, they will be the winners in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays, it is obvious that not all students performing well at school are successful in work.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
404 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts