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Reason and cause of more female workrts

Reason and cause of more female workrts YLVrV
Women of this era prefer to work than sitting at home. The main reasons for this development are financial advantages and progressive mind set of the current society. However, there are some problems may occur due to this. Firstly, when female members start working, would add an extra income to the family, which enhances the prosperity of the home. They would tend to afford more luxuries than before, such as buying a better house, cars and other home appliences. Apart from this, women are encouraged to work as a part of the modern life and to ensure that there is no place for gender bias. For example, in the western world, enormous numbers of females in various significant positions and they ae excellent in their work as well. Therefore, more and more females are motivated to follow their footsteps. Nevertheless, there are some drawbacks can be seen due to the above mentioned scenario. The obvious one can be delayed marriages. Working women mostly focus on both stabilizing their finance and climbing career ladder, they give least priority to family life. This, eventually, results a very disturbing social situation, where more unmarried people can be seen and this can cause psychological trauma in their old ages. In conclusion, opinion on working women and their married life have a huge influence in society. Since getting a well paid and financial stability are the reason more women works
Women
of this era prefer to
work
than sitting at home. The main reasons for this development are financial advantages and progressive mind set of the
current
society.
However
, there are
some
problems may occur due to this.

Firstly
, when female members
start
working, would
add
an extra income to the family, which enhances the prosperity of the home. They would tend to afford more luxuries than
before
, such as buying a better
house
, cars and other home
appliences
. Apart from this,
women
are encouraged
to
work
as a part of the modern life and to ensure that there is no place for gender bias.
For example
, in the western world, enormous numbers of females in various significant
positions and
they
ae
excellent in their
work
as well
.
Therefore
, more and more females
are motivated
to follow their footsteps.

Nevertheless
, there are
some
drawbacks can be
seen
due to the above mentioned scenario. The obvious one can
be delayed
marriages. Working
women
mostly
focus on both stabilizing their finance and climbing career ladder, they give
least
priority to family life. This,
eventually
, results a
very
disturbing social situation, where more unmarried
people
can be
seen
and this can cause psychological trauma in their
old
ages.

In conclusion
, opinion on working
women
and their married life have a huge influence in society. Since getting a well paid and financial stability are the reason more
women
works
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IELTS essay Reason and cause of more female workrts

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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