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Write about an occupation that one of your realtives has done in the past and explain whether or not you will do that job today

Write about an occupation that one of your realtives has done in the past and explain whether or not you will do that job today Mre9q
In this contemporary era, all individuals want to be self dependent. During Covid 19, all people faced a financial problem as all the working institutes were closed. Further, in that situation my relatives decided to do a online job in which they not only sold their product( clothes) online, but also they earned a huge margin; it also assisted them in their healthy living. Moreover, according to my perspective, online job is a very comfortable job owing to, it has flexible working hours; it is a motionless job. So, if I get a online job, then definitely I will prefer that.
In this contemporary era, all individuals want to be self dependent. During
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
, all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
faced a financial problem as all the working institutes
were closed
.
Further
, in that situation my relatives decided to do
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in which they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sold their product
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
clothes)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they earned a huge margin; it
also
assisted them in their healthy living.
Moreover
, according to my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
owing to, it has flexible working hours; it is a motionless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, then definitely I will prefer that.
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IELTS essay Write about an occupation that one of your realtives has done in the past and explain whether or not you will do that job today

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
101 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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