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Write a story about a trip where you had a problem

Write a story about a trip where you had a problem d3R72
This happened a few years ago. My best friend, Tayebeh and I went to the Kish island in south of Iran. When we booked the hotel, we had made a decision to do all ticket and hotel reservation ourselves in order to save money. (We had another option to ask a tour for all reservations, but using tours cost more for this kind of services). I had to book the hotel and Tayebeh was in charge of buying tickets. It was early November which is a high season in Kish and there were many tourist there. The flight was pleasurable and we were enjoying the first part of our trip but as soon as we reached to the hotel everything changed dramatically. An awful mistake was done by me! I had booked the room for one week later and guess what, there were no available room in that hotel by that time. We had no idea about what to do next! After a while when we had canceled the next week reservation and had paid the hotel’s cancellation fee we started searching for room in other hotels. It was about an hour that we were hopelessly searching for a room, sitting in that hotel’s lobby that one of waiters came to us and said you could rent an apartment instead. Because hardly ever you could find an available hotel room in this week. Then he gave us a catalog filed with many pictures of rental apartments in the island that contact information was tagged under each. We picked one however we had no idea how safe and expensive it could be but we had no other choice. Fortunately, after making several calls we found an apartment for less fee than our previous room reservation. When we reached there, the apartment had been cleaned up perfectly and it was decorated with fascination. To sum up, at the beginning we were shocked by my mistake in booking, in the end we enjoyed our trip a lot in addition we saved money because the apartment was too much cheaper than the hotel room. We would not have found out renting an apartment is a good option to save money if I had not done that mistake. After that trip, I have traveled and booked a lot, however always I double check my reservations date’s
This happened a few years ago. My best friend,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tayebeh
and I went to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kish
island in south of Iran. When we booked the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
, we had made a decision to do all ticket and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservation
ourselves in order to save money. (We had another option to ask a tour for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
using tours cost more for this kind of services). I had to book the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tayebeh
was in charge of buying tickets.

It was early November which is a high season in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kish
and there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourist there. The flight was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pleasurable and
we were enjoying the
first
part of our trip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as we reached to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
. An awful mistake
was done
by me! I had booked the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
for one week later and guess what, there were no available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
by that time. We had no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about what to do
next
! After a while when we had canceled the
next
week
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservation
and had paid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel’s
cancellation fee we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
searching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in other hotels.

It was about an hour that we were
hopelessly
searching for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
, sitting in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel’s
lobby that one of waiters came to us and said you could rent an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
instead
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
hardly ever you could find an available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in this week. Then he gave us a catalog filed with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pictures of rental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
The usual preposition for "island" is "on" not "in". Revise: "on the island".
in the island
that contact information
was tagged
under each. We picked one
however
we had no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
how safe and expensive it could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we had no other choice.
Fortunately
, after making several calls we found an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
for less fee than our previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservation
. When we reached there, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
had
been cleaned
up
perfectly
and it
was decorated
with fascination.

To sum up, at the beginning we
were shocked
by my mistake in booking, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
we enjoyed our trip a lot
in addition
we saved money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
was too much cheaper than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hotel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
. We would not have found out renting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option to save money if I had not done that mistake. After that trip, I have traveled and booked a lot,
however
always I double
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reservations
date’
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
s
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IELTS essay Write a story about a trip where you had a problem

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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