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In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. What are the causes? How should we tackle this issue?

In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. What are the causes? How should we tackle this issue? PL0dE
Nowadays, some people argue that the juvenile delinquency rate is significantly increasing. There are several factors giving rise to this issue, hence, it is crucial to put actions into operation. In all likelihood, the origins of this situation seem to derive from three areas. First, parental neglect can lead to children embarking on a life of crime. This means that parents, who are more and more interested in work, cannot spend much time with their kids, thus, the youngsters will suffer from depression and social isolation. Consequently, they are likely to get involved in unlawful activities, which makes them have a criminal record. Second, the increasing amount of toxic information on social networks will have negative effects on the young, who do not have enough awareness. It is said that the Internet is a lucrative environment for evildoers to post noxious content such as violent videos to provoke young people to join their gangs. Finally, a rising poverty rate is also one of the main reasons why more and more teenagers are sentenced. If people live in material deprivation, they can fall into the criminal path to make a living. According to a survey, two-thirds of offenders (murders, kidnappings, …) come from a poor family or bad living environment such as slums. It is necessary for both governments and individuals to give long-term solutions with the aim of dealing with this issue. To begin with, parents should pay more attention to their kids. It means family members spend time to confide in their stories, share household chores, and so on. As a result, children maturing in the care of family will have comprehensive development and have adequate awareness to distinguish between good and bad actions. Furthermore, teenagers ought to be put on an online Internet time limitation as well as access to suitable networks for study or entertainment. If this step was available, the rate of children exposed to toxic contents would reduce markedly. Last but not least, the government enacts policies to minimize poverty such as promoting community service, unemployment benefits, … This is accompanied by the decrease in the criminal statistics because people do not need to be lawbreakers for survival. In conclusion, there are three main reasons for the alarming rate that more and more children embark on a life of crime. Not only governments but also individuals join hands to implement practical remedies to prevent this issue.
Nowadays,
some
people
argue that the juvenile delinquency
rate
is
significantly
increasing. There are several factors giving rise to this issue,
hence
, it is crucial to put actions into operation.

In all likelihood, the origins of this situation seem to derive from three areas.
First
, parental neglect can lead to
children
embarking on a life of crime. This means that parents, who are more and more interested in work, cannot spend much time with their kids,
thus
, the youngsters will suffer from depression and social isolation.
Consequently
, they are likely to
get
involved in unlawful activities, which
makes
them have a criminal record. Second, the increasing amount of toxic information on social networks will have
negative
effects on the young, who do not have
enough
awareness. It
is said
that the Internet is a lucrative environment for evildoers to post noxious content such as violent videos to provoke young
people
to
join
their gangs.
Finally
, a rising poverty
rate
is
also
one of the main reasons why more and more
teenagers
are sentenced
. If
people
live
in material deprivation, they can fall into the criminal path to
make
a living. According to a survey, two-thirds of offenders (murders, kidnappings, …)
come
from a poor family or
bad
living environment such as slums.

It is necessary for both
governments
and individuals to give long-term solutions with the aim of dealing with this issue. To
begin
with, parents should pay more attention to their kids. It means family members spend time to confide in their stories, share household chores, and
so
on.
As a result
,
children
maturing in the care of family will have comprehensive development and have adequate awareness to distinguish between
good
and
bad
actions.
Furthermore
,
teenagers
ought to
be put
on an online Internet time limitation
as well
as access to suitable networks for study or entertainment. If this step was available, the
rate
of
children
exposed to toxic contents would
reduce
markedly
. Last
but
not least, the
government
enacts policies to minimize poverty such as promoting community service, unemployment benefits, … This
is accompanied
by the decrease in the criminal statistics
because
people
do not need to be lawbreakers for survival.

In conclusion
, there are three main reasons for the alarming
rate
that more and more
children
embark on a life of crime. Not
only
governments
but
also
individuals
join
hands to implement practical remedies to
prevent
this issue.
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IELTS essay In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. What are the causes? How should we tackle this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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