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write a paragraph about dramatic accident

write a paragraph about dramatic accident K3yD9
It was my worst motorcycle fall. When I was in 11th grade, one morning when I was going to school, I fell off my car because I was under understudy stress and was not getting enough rest, making me not mentally alert enough to drive a motorcycle. I hit the roadside barrier and fainted. I was taken to the hospital with the assistance of bystanders. It's an emergency. Fortunately, the doctor determined that I only needed a bunch of powder in my leg and no other major injuries. However, I was still very panicked because of this accident. I spent more than two weeks in the hospital and the next two months at home. On the move, being on my feet is very difficult for me. When I found out about this, my parents were worried. They were always there to take care of me and did not forget to remind me not to put too much pressure on myself to try to take care of my health. I feel so lucky and happy that I wasn't badly injured and that my parents were always there for me without complaining. After two months of the accident, I was removed from my leg. However, it still left me moving very inconveniently, so my dad was always the one who took me to school at that time. My friends have always been very helpful to me, which makes me very happy. Even though my legs are completely gone, I always feel it when I remember that time. It's a nightmare. I know it can't, but I always hope that similar accidents don't occur in the world. At least for those who are close to me.
It was my worst motorcycle fall. When I was in 11th grade, one morning when I was going to school, I fell off my car
because
I was under understudy
stress
and was not getting
enough
rest, making me not mentally alert
enough
to drive a motorcycle. I hit the roadside barrier and fainted. I
was taken
to the hospital with the assistance of bystanders. It's an emergency.
Fortunately
, the doctor determined that I
only
needed a bunch of powder in my leg and no other major injuries.
However
, I was
still
very
panicked
because of this
accident. I spent more than two weeks in the hospital and the
next
two months at home. On the
move
, being on my feet is
very
difficult for me. When I found out about this, my parents
were worried
. They were always there to take care of me and did not forget to remind me not to put too much pressure on myself to try to take care of my health. I feel
so
lucky and happy that I wasn't
badly
injured and that my parents were always there for me without complaining. After two months of the accident, I
was removed
from my leg.
However
, it
still
left
me moving
very
inconveniently
,
so
my dad was always the one who took me to school at that time. My friends have always been
very
helpful to me, which
makes
me
very
happy.
Even though
my legs are completely gone, I always feel it when I remember that time. It's a nightmare. I know it can't,
but
I always hope that similar accidents don't occur in the world. At least for those who are close to me.
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IELTS essay write a paragraph about dramatic accident

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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