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Write a essay about according to you Which Language is important English or local language?

Write a essay about according to you Which Language is important English or local language? ebEdJ
English language is very important for people around the world but teaching local languages is also very important however, organization hired only those candidates who can speak fluent English, because they have to interact with international clients as well. In many countries English is their first language however if you know how to speak English it makes your life easier and build confidence you travel anywhere in the world if you know how to speak English but local language is equally important to learn to stay connected with thier culture. Hence I believe both the languages are important to survive in the world.
English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
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important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
teaching local
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languages
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
however
, organization hired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those candidates who can speak fluent English,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
interact with international clients
as well
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries English is their
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
however
if you know how to speak English it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
your life easier and build confidence you travel anywhere in the world if you know how to speak English
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to learn to stay connected with
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
culture.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
I believe both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to survive in the world.

IELTS essay Write a essay about according to you Which Language is important English or local language?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
103 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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