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World is becoming a global village with the increasing trade and communication across the countries. Do you agreed that benefits of globalization outweigh its drawbacks?

World is becoming a global village with the increasing trade and communication across the countries. Do you agreed that benefits of globalization outweigh its drawbacks? OMo8j
Liberation of trading platform and communication barriers make global transactions to function smoothly than even. This makes global to become a single platform rather working individually. As any form of innovative product provides pros and corn, globalization too can have side effects if it is not regulated in transparent and ethical manner. Accordingly, this easy going to analyze how globalization can be benefited by minimizing its drawbacks. It can be stated that being in global trading and communication, people be able to consume wide range of products through comparative and absolute advantages under a less or no tariffs. If we take the absolute advantage, it facilitates to a particular country to consume goods where they cannot produce themselves. Further, trade across the world with the support of Worked Trade Organization (WTO), countries can be benefited in tariff free market. Therefore, being in the global market and becoming part of global trading enriched each country’s consumption level under a completive price. On the other hand, it can be argued that being in global trading and communication; developing countries are hindered through exploitation by developed counties. Exploitation can be taken place in many ways. Investment in production plants of developing countries to obtain cheap labour under a minimum working condition are considered most common method of exploitation. Further, exhausting of resources and concerns over environment impact too persuades multinational companies to move towards such countries. Recent collapsed of Bangladesh garment factory by killing more than 200 workers can be evidenced for such abuse of developing countries. Therefore, it is paramount important to have proper mechanism to run the wheel of globalization. To conclude, it can be argued that two sides of the globalization impact depend on the level and stability of the country involve in global trading. However, it always highlights drawbacks can be outweigh through proper mechanism being set at global level such as WTO, mutual agreements among countries etc. Therefore, ethical trading, transparency and regulation let globalization to become more beneficial than its dark side.
Liberation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
platform and communication barriers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
transactions to function
Use "(smoothly)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
smoothly
than even. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
to become a single platform
rather
working
individually
. As any form of innovative product provides pros and corn, globalization too can have side effects if it is not regulated in transparent and ethical manner.
Accordingly
, this easy going to analyze how globalization can
be benefited
by minimizing its drawbacks.

It can
be stated
that being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
and communication,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
be able to consume wide range of products through comparative and absolute advantages under a less or no tariffs. If we take the absolute advantage, it facilitates to a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to consume
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
where they cannot produce themselves.
Further
, trade across the world with the support of Worked Trade Organization (WTO),
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
be benefited
in tariff free market.
Therefore
, being in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
market and becoming part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
enriched each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
consumption level under a
Possible spelling mistake found.
completive
price.

On the other hand
, it can
be argued
that being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
and communication; developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are hindered
through exploitation by developed counties. Exploitation can
be taken
place in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Investment in production plants of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
under a minimum working condition
are considered
most common method of exploitation.
Further
, exhausting of resources and concerns over environment impact too persuades multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Recent collapsed of Bangladesh garment factory by killing more than 200 workers can
be evidenced
for such abuse of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Therefore
, it is paramount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to have proper mechanism to run the wheel of globalization.

To conclude
, it can
be argued
that two sides of the globalization impact depend on the level and stability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
involve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
.
However
, it always highlights drawbacks can be
Consider using the past participle "outweighed"?
outweigh
through proper mechanism
being set
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
level such as WTO, mutual agreements among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
etc.
Therefore
, ethical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trading
, transparency and regulation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
globalization to become more beneficial than its dark side.
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IELTS essay World is becoming a global village with the increasing trade and communication across the countries. Do you agreed that benefits of globalization outweigh its drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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