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World humanitarian day how we should observed.

World humanitarian day how we should observed. aAg27
World humanitarian day World humanitarian day is an international day dedicated to recognize humanitarian personal and those who have lost their lives for humanitarian causes. In 2008, the United nation general assembly designated 19th August as world humanitarian day to raise awareness about humanitarian assistant worldwide and to pay tribute to the people who risk their lives to provide it. World humanitarian day was commemorated for first time on 19 August 2009. World Humanitarian Day was established by the United Nations General Assembly to commemorate the death of Sergio Vieira de Mello and 21 of his fellow humanitarians in a bombing of the Baghdad headquarters of the UN. Sergio had worked at great length attempted to pull together the Draft for the official designation of World Humanitarian Day. All around the world, there are people who are suffering from being homeless, refugees or from natural disasters, wars and famines. These people are left vulnerable and in no condition to fend for themselves. In such situations, before the government steps in with long-term help, humanitarian aid workers step up to help. In recognition of their work, August 19 is marked every year as World Humanitarian Day to remember the humanitarian personnel who have lost their lives and those who are still working despite the odds. On this World Humanitarian Day, I want to salute the real-world heroes - the courageous women and men who deliver life-saving support like shelter assistance and livelihoods, essential health, food and water, hygiene and sanitation to the most vulnerable. This is a day to remember the brave humanitarian workers whose daily work can involve terrible dangers and even a risk to their lives. However, it is also a day to build public support for the people at the centre of this humanitarian work: the many millions of civilians around the world whose lives have been affected by conflict. Therefore, 19 August is a day to ask world leaders to commit to protecting vulnerable civilians and to do more to end conflicts in the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
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humanitarian
day

World
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humanitarian
day is an international day dedicated to recognize
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humanitarian
personal and those
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who
have lost their
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lives
for
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humanitarian
causes. In 2008, the United nation general assembly designated 19th August as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanitarian
day to raise awareness about
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humanitarian
assistant worldwide and to pay tribute to the
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people
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who
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risk
their
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lives
to provide it.
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World
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humanitarian
day
was commemorated
for
first
time on 19 August
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2009. World
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Humanitarian
Day
was established
by the United Nations General Assembly to commemorate the death of Sergio Vieira de Mello and 21 of his fellow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanitarians
in a bombing of the Baghdad headquarters of the UN. Sergio had worked at great length attempted to pull together the Draft for the official designation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humanitarian
Day. All around the
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world
, there are
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people
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who
are suffering from being homeless, refugees or from natural disasters, wars and famines. These
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people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
vulnerable and in no condition to fend for themselves.

In such situations,
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before
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
steps in with long-term
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
,
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humanitarian
aid workers step up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. In recognition of their work, August 19
is marked
every year as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humanitarian
Day to remember the
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humanitarian
personnel
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who
have lost their
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lives
and those
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who
are
still
working despite the odds.

On this
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World
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Humanitarian
Day, I want to salute the real-world heroes
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the courageous women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
deliver life-saving support like shelter assistance and livelihoods, essential health, food and water, hygiene and sanitation to the most vulnerable.

This is a day to remember the brave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanitarian
workers whose daily work can involve terrible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
and even a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to their
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lives
.
However
, it is
also
a day to build public support for the
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people
at the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of this
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humanitarian
work: the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
millions of civilians around the
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world
whose
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lives
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by conflict.
Therefore
, 19 August is a day to ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
leaders to commit to protecting vulnerable civilians and to do more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
conflicts in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
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IELTS essay World humanitarian day how we should observed.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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