Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

working your own business

working your own business jKqy
Nowadays, the young generation is becoming more and more active at work. Some people choose to be self-employed rather than becoming an employee. Each choice has positives and negatives things, but in my opinion, I prefer business that doesn't depend on anyone more. Opponents of the option of free work argue that working for the company is more stable. Many people realise that becoming an employee has the lowest risk ever. They always receive a fixed monthly or weekly salary, so their income is always at a stable level. Besides, the company also has benefits for you such as insurance, pension or social assistance. If you want to live a normal life then working as an employee is a good choice for you. Nevertheless, several people have decided to do their own business. They don’t like to be regulated by any procedure prescribed by the companies. Examples of the self-employed jobs are director, dancer, artist, . . . While others want to be an entrepreneur because they feel that opening a new business brings a lot of benefits to themselves and society creates many job opportunities for everyone. Moreover, they can own their business and unleash their creativity. For example, they can work any time they want or come up with ideas freely without fear of criticism. This is really suitable for those who have a liberal personality and don’t like restraint. To sum up, I don't think it's easy to do business on your own, but it will bring a lot of benefits when you are successful. To do it well we need confidence and patience. Therefore, self-employment isn’t a bad choice for young people who love adventure.
Nowadays, the young generation is becoming more and more active at work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to be self-employed
rather
than becoming an employee. Each choice has positives and negatives things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, I prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
that doesn't depend on anyone more.

Opponents of the option of free work argue that working for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is more stable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that becoming an employee has the lowest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
ever. They always receive a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
monthly or weekly salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their income is always at a stable level.
Besides
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
also
has benefits for you such as insurance, pension or social assistance. If you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a normal life then working as an employee is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice for you.

Nevertheless
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have decided to do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. They don’t like to
be regulated
by any procedure prescribed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. Examples of the self-employed jobs are director, dancer, artist
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
While others want to be an entrepreneur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel that opening a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to themselves and society creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job opportunities for everyone.
Moreover
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and unleash their creativity.
For example
, they can work any time they want or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
freely
without fear of criticism. This is
really
suitable for those who have a liberal personality and don’t like restraint.

To sum up, I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it's easy to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits when you are successful. To do it well we need confidence and patience.
Therefore
, self-employment isn’t a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
choice for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
adventure.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay working your own business

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts