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Working hours are too long and people are not spending as much time as they should with their families or on leisure activities. What is your opinion on this issue? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Capitalism and its’ methods have always perpetuated the idea that toiling away for extra hours is productive. As a result, individuals rarely get a chance to indulge in hobbies or even talk with their loved ones. I strongly believe that, despite significant earnings, one person should never overwork so that their physical and especially mental health can be sound. Laboring over tasks and duties excessively often seems to reiterate the idea that we are being a dedicated and hardworking employee. Money is a common issue for nearly all people so I understand when people take up extra shifts to support their families. However, the pain of not being with their families or carving out time for extracurricular activities, usually, puts an immense burden on the human psyche. Mental and physical well-being is undoubtedly important and the risk of losing sanity over work is not how an economy or a society should function. To further elaborate, I used to be a full-time undergraduate student who took up French classes for extra credit and I was employed as a store clerk as well. This situation heightened my insomnia and I often had low blood pressure. Similarly, I rarely got the chance to even chat with my parents’ over the phone or brush up on my skillsets. I was an avid reader and a dancer but since I took upon the aforementioned load, my mental strength declined rapidly. To sum up, labor hours are rising but on the contrary the wages are remaining relatively stable. Working to the point of exhaustion is never a good option and I feel that everyone should spare some time for themselves and their dear ones for peace and sanity.
Capitalism and its’ methods have always perpetuated the
idea
that toiling away for extra hours is productive.
As a result
, individuals rarely
get
a chance to indulge in hobbies or even talk with their
loved
ones
. I
strongly
believe that, despite significant earnings, one person should never overwork
so
that their physical and
especially
mental health can be sound.

Laboring over tasks and duties
excessively
often
seems to reiterate the
idea
that we are being a dedicated and hardworking employee. Money is a common issue for
nearly
all
people
so
I understand when
people
take up extra shifts to support their families.
However
, the pain of not being with their families or carving out time for extracurricular activities,
usually
, puts an immense burden on the human psyche. Mental and physical well-being is
undoubtedly
important
and the
risk
of losing sanity over work is not how an economy or a society should function.

To
further
elaborate, I
used
to be a full-time undergraduate student who took up French classes for extra credit and I
was employed
as a store clerk
as well
. This situation heightened my insomnia and I
often
had low blood pressure.
Similarly
, I rarely
got
the chance to even chat with my parents’ over the phone or brush up on my skillsets. I was an avid reader and a dancer
but
since I took upon the aforementioned load, my mental strength declined
rapidly
.

To sum up, labor hours are rising
but
on the contrary
the wages are remaining
relatively
stable. Working to the point of exhaustion is never a
good
option and I feel that everyone should spare
some
time for themselves and their dear
ones
for peace and sanity.
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IELTS essay Working hours are too long and people are not spending as much time as they should with their families or on leisure activities. What is your opinion on this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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