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teach school student to learn more about their local history than the world history. to what extent do you agree or disagree

It is argued that children at school should be taught about the history of the place they were born rather than the history of the world. I strongly agree with this view for the following justifications. The main reason why it is of greater importance for students to acknowledge of their hometown history is that it helps them to cultivate a sense of patriotism and national pride. For instance, according to the Vietnam history, many parts of our country were highly affected by protracted wars including French, American and Chinese colonialism. Therefore, the young people are aware of how their previous generation had bravely fought against the enemies and sacrificed their lives to protect and bring back the peace to our country. This will become a motivation for the new generations to make more effort in their current study and future careers, also stimulation for young people to try to become a useful citizen who contributes their best in different aspects of the national developments. On the contrary, placing more priority on teaching students about numerous past events of the world would possibly lead to the ignorant of their own local historical values, loosening their sense of root and belonging. Even worse, people of younger generations from emerging countries could have a negative attitude and give disrespectful comments while comparing the recent developing achievements of their countries to other successful nations without understanding the difficulties that they ancestor had been through in the past to build the country. In addition, national history and past events is a part of each country’s unique culture. Consequently, educating the young generations about the local and national history is another approach to preserve and promote the country special culture. Meanwhile, understanding about the country’s historical stories, images and values provide abundant materials for the younger generations to generate creative ideas that also contribute to their individual success. In conclusion, I totally believe that more attention should be emphasized in the history of the local area than world history. This effort encourages the students to treasure their national identity and provide effective educational background for children future career development.
It
is argued
that children at school should
be taught
about the
history
of the place they
were born
rather
than the
history
of the world. I
strongly
agree
with this view for the following justifications.

The main reason why it is of greater importance for students to acknowledge of their hometown
history
is that it
helps
them to cultivate a sense of patriotism and
national
pride.
For instance
, according to the Vietnam
history
,
many
parts of our
country
were
highly
affected
by protracted wars including French, American and Chinese colonialism.
Therefore
, the young
people
are aware of how their previous generation had
bravely
fought against the enemies and sacrificed their
lives
to protect and bring back the peace to our
country
. This will become a motivation for the new generations to
make
more effort in their
current
study and future careers,
also
stimulation for young
people
to try to become a useful citizen who contributes their best in
different
aspects of the
national
developments.
On the contrary
, placing more priority on teaching students about numerous past
events
of the world would
possibly
lead to the ignorant of their
own
local historical values, loosening their sense of root and belonging. Even worse,
people
of younger generations from emerging
countries
could have a
negative
attitude and give disrespectful comments while comparing the recent developing achievements of their
countries
to other successful nations without understanding the difficulties that they ancestor had been through in the past to build the country.

In addition
,
national
history
and past
events
is a part of each
country’s
unique culture.
Consequently
, educating the young generations about the local and
national
history
is another approach to preserve and promote the
country
special culture. Meanwhile, understanding about the
country’s
historical stories, images and values provide abundant materials for the younger generations to generate creative
ideas
that
also
contribute to their individual success.

In conclusion
, I
totally
believe that more attention should
be emphasized
in the
history
of the local area than world
history
. This effort encourages the students to treasure their
national
identity and provide effective educational background for children future career development.
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IELTS essay teach school student to learn more about their local history than the world history.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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