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Women should stay at home to do housework. To what extent do you agree?

Women should stay at home to do housework. Nlory
“Men make house, women make home”. Some people assume that while the husband works outside, it is the wife's duty to stay at home to do housework and take care of the children. I completely disagree with the viewpoint because women are also capable of doing all the things that are done by men in any field and they won't be looked down upon when they don't make money. The first reason for my choice is women are capable of doing any job just like men. Nowadays, women are more educated and have better training than in the past. They have the ability to do well in many different fields such as science, health, education. Proof of this is that many women nowadays are in positions of power and changing the world to a great extent. For example, recently Kamala Devi Harris became the 1st ever female vice-president of The United States of America, and she is also the highest-ranking female official in U. S. history. In addition, women are very good at some areas that are hard for men such as childcare, kindergarten, fashion, beauty, etc. Even some women can balance and do well between work outside and taking care of their family. Another reason is that expenses are increasing day by day and this extra income definitely helps the family to overcome the expenses. I observed that the families who are having two salaries always can afford the better education for their children can have a better lifestyle and can plan better savings. However, it has some drawbacks. Married women have responsibility for their children. Children are connected more to their mothers, so mothers should take care of children and pay attention to their activities such as studying, playing, communicating with others. Besides, mothers should teach children about society, education, life skills to make sure not only they will have a better future but also become useful citizens for the country. If married women become busy with the work and let children at home alone, they would feeling abandon or neglect. This could result in bad consequences such as addicting games, using drugs or involve in crime activities. In conclusion, each side of this idea has benefits and drawbacks. From my point of view, I prefer married women should work as well as balance their work and personal life, this will make all members in family happy.
“
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
home”.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assume that while the husband works outside, it is the wife's duty to stay at home to do housework and take care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I completely disagree with the viewpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
also
capable of doing all the things that
are done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in any
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
field and
they won't
be looked
down upon when they don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
money.

The
first
reason for my choice is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are capable of doing any job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more educated and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
training than in the past. They have the ability to do well in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields such as science, health, education. Proof of this is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
nowadays are in positions of power and changing the world to a great extent.
For example
, recently Kamala Devi Harris became the 1st ever female vice-president of The United States of America, and she is
also
the highest-ranking female official in U. S. history.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
such as childcare, kindergarten, fashion, beauty, etc. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can balance and do well between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
outside and taking care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Another reason is that expenses are increasing day by day and this extra income definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to overcome the expenses. I observed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
who are having two salaries always can afford the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
lifestyle and can plan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
savings.

However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. Married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have responsibility for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are connected
more to their mothers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
mothers should take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and pay attention to their activities such as studying, playing, communicating with others.
Besides
, mothers should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about society, education, life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sure not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they will have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
become useful citizens for the country. If married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
become busy with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home alone, they would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "feel"
feeling
abandon or neglect. This could result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences such as
Did you mean the adjective "addictive" instead of the verb form 'addicting'?
addicting
games, using drugs or involve in crime activities.

In conclusion
, each side of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
has benefits and drawbacks. From my point of view, I prefer married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as well
as balance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and personal life, this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
all members in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
happy.
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IELTS essay Women should stay at home to do housework.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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