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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Write at least 250 words. Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. with this statement? kdOd
We are familiar with the fact that the mother spent 9 more months with the child than the father. She took care of the child when he/she is not born yet. But that does not reflect any idea about women focus less on their own career and more on children's care. I totally disagree with the given statement. In the following paragraph, I will discuss my opinions about the issue. Firstly, In College or school-days, Women like men focus on their studies to make their future bright and to get a good job. They work so hard to get whatever job they want. But when it comes to doing a job then people are suggesting the idea those women should pay less attention to her job and more to child care. How did it suppose to work? In addition to it, what is the point of studying so hard if women have to stay at home and took care of children? In my opinion men and women, both should take care of their children. Secondly, The idea of men working more and women working less is totally hilarious. Because by doing so, it is clearly impossible to manage the expense of the family. Moreover, it is very difficult for one person to handle all the expenses of the family. Individuals have to pay their rent, car insurance, Grocery bills and a lot of other expenses they have to carry. All in all, A child needs the love of both mother and father. So, Women and men both should work and take care of children equally to balance their daily life and their expenses
We are familiar with the fact that the mother spent 9 more months with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
than the father. She took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
when he/she is not born
yet
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that does not reflect any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
focus less on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career and more on children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. I
totally
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. In the following paragraph, I will discuss my opinions about the issue.

Firstly
, In College or school-days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
focus on their studies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future bright and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. They work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
whatever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they want.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are suggesting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should pay less attention to her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. How did it suppose to work?
In addition
to it, what is the point of studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay at home and took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of children? In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, both should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their children.

Secondly
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
working more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
working less is
totally
hilarious.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is
clearly
impossible to manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expense
of the family.
Moreover
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for one person to handle all the expenses of the family. Individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay their rent, car insurance, Grocery bills and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
other expenses they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry.

All in all, A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
needs the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of both mother and father.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
both should work and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of children
equally
to balance their daily life and their expenses
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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