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With the pressures on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the pressures on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects. DG0p
Few people believe that, success of the students in academics lies in removal of all non-academic related subjects like physical education from the syllabus. I strongly disagree with that point, because a student can be successful in life only when he is trained in all aspects not just in academics. While is success in academics is an important aspect, doing well in non-academics related subjects is equally valuable for any student or younger generation. Let us consider non-academic subject like physical education as an example, for youth it is probably the most important outdoor activity that they could undertake. For the mind to be active and to function at the desired level, physical activity plays a key role, it generates the positive vibes and it induces the self confidence in to the mind. Success of students or younger generation doesn’t always lie in academics, many of them might see their career in other means. So, forcing them to succeed only in academics doesn’t yield any positive results in the long run. My academic life is a perfect example on how the syllabus shouldn’t be like. The educational institution where I have studied had put all their efforts in pushing younger generation to be successful in academics, they gave the least importance on extracurricular activities. As a result, I couldn’t choose my career in my favorite sport ‘cricket’. To conclude, I disagree with the people who say that non-academic subjects should be removed from the curriculum. Whether is physical activity or cookery classes, they should have equal importance with the academics, this in turn reduces stress on younger generation, as a result, they might do well in all other aspects of life.
Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that, success of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
lies in removal of all non-academic related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education from the syllabus. I
strongly
disagree with that point,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can be successful in life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when he
is trained
in all aspects not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in academics.

While is success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect, doing well in non-academics related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is
equally
valuable for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us consider non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education as an example, for youth it is
probably
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
that they could undertake. For the mind to be active and to function at the desired level,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
plays a key role, it generates the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
vibes and it induces the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
in to the mind. Success of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation doesn’t always lie in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their career in other means.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, forcing them to succeed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
doesn’t yield any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results in the long run.

My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
life is a perfect example on how the syllabus shouldn’t be like. The educational institution where I have studied had put all their efforts in pushing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation to be successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
, they gave the least importance on extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
As a result
, I couldn’t choose my career in my favorite sport ‘cricket’.

To conclude
, I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who say that non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be removed
from the curriculum. Whether is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
or cookery classes, they should have equal importance with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
, this in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generation,
as a result
, they might do well in all other aspects of life.

IELTS essay With the pressures on today’s young people to succeed academically, some people believe that non-academic subjects at school (eg: physical education and cookery) should be removed from the syllabus so that children can concentrate wholly on academic subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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