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With the pressure on todays young people succssed academically some people believe that non academic subjects need to be avoid from the carriculum discuss the subject and give your opinion

With the pressure on todays young people succssed academically some people believe that non academic subjects need to be avoid from the carriculum discuss the subject and give your opinion KwRE0
What young people should study in the school is prolonged subject of debate since long time. However, it is extremely difficult find a accurate answer for the question. Some individuals agree that including non academic topic always helpful for the students, on the other hand, many people say that it is unnecessary. According to my experience it is essential to add extra-curricular activities owing to the fact that it will enormously enhance practical knowledge of the young generation. This essay focuses on the merits of including non educational syllabus in institutions. Firstly, all nations takes extra care to introduce suprem education system to adolescents. At present, our carriculum filled with pivotal academic and non academic syllabus as a result young people are profoundly blessed with multiple knowledge. Non academic subjects such as sports, art works, metal works as well as wood works exhorts juveniles to understand imperative real life exposure. Moreover, sports is vital for every young peoples by practicing various sports activities they become fit and its produce a healthy human beings in the future. Furthermore, without sports we may creates unhealthy and obese society in the future. Secondly, modern world gives more preference to the education. Majority of the students are highly interested to concentrate only learning because our world is completely searching for well academically qualified generations as a consequence a large number of students admired solemnly with academic focus, subsequently it helps them to achieve good jobs after the completion of the course. Nevertheless, some students are not truly grievous about their studies, but they are very talented in other areas in such cases forcing them to concentrate only in academics may precipitate them into harrowing condition. To conclude, it is a great idea to combine academic also non academic since both subjects play a paramount role in molding young generation.
What
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should study in the school
is prolonged
subject of debate since long time.
However
, it is
extremely
difficult find
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
accurate answer for the question.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that including non
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
topic always helpful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that it is unnecessary. According to my experience it is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
extra-curricular activities owing to the fact that it will
enormously
enhance practical knowledge of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation. This essay focuses on the merits of including
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non educational
syllabus in institutions.

Firstly
, all nations takes extra care to introduce
Possible spelling mistake found.
suprem
education system to adolescents. At present, our
Possible spelling mistake found.
carriculum
filled with pivotal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and non
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
syllabus
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
profoundly
blessed with multiple knowledge. Non
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, art works, metal works
as well
as wood works exhorts juveniles to understand imperative real life exposure.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is vital for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
by practicing various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities they become fit and its produce a healthy human
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "being"?
beings
in the future.
Furthermore
, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
we may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "create"
creates
unhealthy and obese society in the future.

Secondly
, modern world gives more preference to the education. Majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
highly
interested to concentrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our world is completely searching for well
academically
qualified generations as a consequence
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
admired
solemnly
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
focus,
subsequently
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs after the completion of the course.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not
truly
grievous about their studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
talented in other areas in such cases forcing them to concentrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
may precipitate them into harrowing condition.

To conclude
, it is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to combine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
also
non
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
since both subjects play a paramount role in molding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.
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IELTS essay With the pressure on todays young people succssed academically some people believe that non academic subjects need to be avoid from the carriculum discuss the subject and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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