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More money should be spent on hiring and training the police force in order to reduce crime in big cities. What is your opinion?

More money should be spent on hiring and training the police force in order to reduce crime in big cities. What is your opinion? VB9N3
We live in an era where crime seems to be on the increase gloomily. Reducing criminal activities is a widely discussed topic among authorities, especially during election time. Although many argue that an increase in the police force will regulate the offences to a greater extent, I believe that this is not only the solution to fix this as its roots are so varied and intricate. This essay will illustrate why the proposed solution is not effective. On the one hand, I do think this would resolve to a certain extent. Clearly, prevention is always a preferred method in any situation. This means a higher number of officers on the street could discourage criminals from breaking the law. Additionally, using more technology by police would help them a foreseeable criminal activity to better equip themselves. For example, top range technology allowed the stoppage of the terrorist attack in Australia. Thus, it is undeniable that spending more on trained officers would help to a certain extent. On the other hand, it is essential to treat the root cause of any problem. The major reason for involving most of the youth in illegal acts is poverty. Unless we address this root cause, we will never be able to fix the actual problem completely. Instead of investing in creating more employment and ensuring the government schemes reaching the public, spending more on trained force cannot yield better results. A good example of this is the USA, where millions are invested in creating new prisons, but nothing has been done regarding gun possessions. This is one of the countries with the highest number of mass shootings, which kills and injures hundreds each year. To conclude, not only hiring more police would help mitigate the issue, but also, providing better welfare for citizens around the world, which in my opinion would help more to avert illegal activity.
We
live
in an era where crime seems to be on the increase
gloomily
. Reducing criminal activities is a
widely
discussed topic among authorities,
especially
during election time. Although
many
argue that an increase in the police force will regulate the
offences
to a greater extent, I believe that this is not
only
the solution to
fix
this as its roots are
so
varied and intricate. This essay will illustrate why the proposed solution is not effective.

On the one hand, I do
think
this would resolve to a certain extent.
Clearly
, prevention is always a preferred method in any situation. This means a higher number of officers on the street could discourage criminals from breaking the law.
Additionally
, using more technology by police would
help
them a foreseeable criminal activity to better equip themselves.
For example
, top range technology
allowed
the stoppage of the terrorist attack in Australia.
Thus
, it is undeniable that spending more on trained officers would
help
to a certain extent.

On the other hand
, it is essential to treat the root cause of any problem. The major reason for involving most of the youth in illegal acts is poverty. Unless we address this root cause, we will never be able to
fix
the actual problem completely.
Instead
of investing in creating more employment and ensuring the
government
schemes reaching the public, spending more on trained force cannot yield better results. A
good
example of this is the USA, where millions
are invested
in creating new prisons,
but
nothing has
been done
regarding gun possessions. This is one of the countries with the highest number of mass shootings, which kills and injures hundreds each year.

To conclude
, not
only
hiring more police would
help
mitigate the issue,
but
also
, providing better welfare for citizens around the world, which in my opinion would
help
more to avert illegal activity.
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IELTS essay More money should be spent on hiring and training the police force in order to reduce crime in big cities. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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