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with the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Owing to the problems with the usage of oil and gas, it is argued that we should look for new sources. From my perspective, it may seem that not only this would not help this issue, because new resources will finish eventually, but also, may lead us to war between nations. Firstly, dealing with the issues surrounding the lack of oil and gas is best solved by taking a long-term approach to replace them with renewable energy like solar power also, this has brought certain benefits in terms of environment and global warming. In-fact, never have we witnessed such a damage to our surroundings in the history. Fore instance, according to a survey conducted by Cambridge University, there is limited fossil fuel left under the surface of the earth that hardly meets our needs for 25 years Another point to consider is that exploring new lands to find oil and gas may lead us to war. The limitation of fossil fuel turns it to a valuable energy that every country wants to have thus, some conflict would happen if the developed countries looked after oil in the developing nations. One clear example is middle east as some experts claim that there is a direct correlation between war and oil in the middle east countries, therefore if we replaced fossil fuel with renewable energy, no war would happen in the middle east nations. In conclusion, it is probably true to say that some opponents claim that finding new fossil fuel resources has lots of benefits to offer, on the contrary, I think that will not solve our problems at all.
Owing to the problems with the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and gas, it
is argued
that we should look for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sources. From my perspective, it may seem that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
this issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
resources will finish
eventually
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, may lead us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
between nations.

Firstly
, dealing with the issues surrounding the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and gas is best solved by taking a long-term approach to replace them with renewable energy like solar power
also
, this has brought certain benefits in terms of environment and global warming. In-fact, never have we witnessed such
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “damage”.
a damage
to our surroundings in the history. Fore instance, according to a survey conducted by Cambridge University, there
is limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
under the surface of the earth that hardly meets our needs for 25
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
years


Another point to consider is that exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lands to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and gas may lead us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
. The limitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
turns it to a valuable energy that every country wants to have
thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conflict would happen if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
looked after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
in the developing nations. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example is
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
middle east
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts claim that there is a direct correlation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
in the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
middle east
countries,
therefore
if we replaced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
with renewable energy, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
would happen in the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
middle east
nations.

In conclusion
, it is
probably
true to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opponents claim that finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
resources has lots of benefits to offer,
on the contrary
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that will not solve our problems at all.
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IELTS essay with the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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