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With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed? NJYq
. In the given tasks, Author implemented that due to the enhancements in latest health care, society has to take care for more elderly people. I completely agree with the given topic with great extent as we know today's health care is more convinient as compare to the past few decades. first of all, i would like to mention that it was effortless to care for aged people despite of having good health facilities. Not because of scarcity of health concession yet individuals from society were too busy in thier daily life. It is indeed to superintendence for older ones as they also take care of us in thier youth. Now a days, peoples are extremely working at office in order to achieve thier goals and they have no time for families. At this situation, it will be more risky for the people who are unhealthy and old neverthless there are no one to cure for them. Consecuently, society are facing problem related this and they send their older family member to nursing home for thier caution. There could be possible for hire care giver by paying, for our grandparents which is fine method than others like sending them to nursing home hence the older people will have also satisfy as they stayed with their own family member instead of staying with public. For instance, my grandfather is above 70 and its very difficult to take care of him thats why for his happiness we hired a nurse for him. She take care of him as my other family members were busy in thier work and he was a person who always want to stay with us. Finally, despite of health care system improves, there are lots of people who will not able to take care of thier grandfathers and grandmothers which is the most dangerous problem so that we can think ourself and need to give some time for elder people also so as to improve thier health condition both as mentally and physically.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
tasks, Author implemented that due to the enhancements in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for more elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic with great extent as we know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
convinient
as compare to the past few decades.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to mention that it was effortless to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
facilities. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
concession
yet
individuals from society were too busy in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
daily life. It is
indeed
to superintendence for older ones as they
also
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of us in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
youth.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are
extremely
working at office in order to achieve
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
goals and
they have no time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. At this situation, it will be more risky for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are unhealthy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake found.
neverthless
there are no one to cure for them.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Consecuently
, society are facing problem related
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
this and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member to nursing home for
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
caution. There could be possible for hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
giver by paying, for our grandparents which is fine method than others like sending them to nursing home
hence
the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have
also
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "satisfied".
satisfy
as they stayed with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member
instead
of staying with public.

For instance
, my grandfather is above 70 and its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of him
Possible spelling mistake found
thats
why for his happiness we hired a nurse for him. She
The pronoun 'She' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "takes", "took".
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of him as my other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members were busy in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
he was a person who always want to stay with us.

Finally
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
, there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who will not able to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
grandfathers and grandmothers which is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
and need to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition both as mentally and
physically
.
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IELTS essay With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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