Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

With the hectic modern life, working children have limited chance to take care of their old parents and nursing homes are believed to be the best place for parents. Discuss both views and give your opinion

With the hectic modern life, working children have limited chance to take care of their old parents and nursing homes are believed to be the best place for parents. Discuss both views and give your opinion aJdy7
Due to the fast pace of modern life, people devote a huge amount of time to work and lose the balance between family and clerical work. Consequently, they hardly make time for their family and tend to send their parents to care centers. From my perspective, it is better for old people to be looked after by their families. On the one hand, there is no doubt that the number of the elderly has been put in care homes in recent years. Having no sufficient time for taking care of parents can be attributed to modern lifestyle and working pressure. The young, nowadays, have to work excessively long hours, as a result, the elderly feel lonely when their son and daughter work away. Therefore, nursing homes are the best choice for their parents. Moreover, senior citizens' homes are facilitated with modern amenities, medical equipment as well as doctors, trained staff. So, the elderly can have personal care provision to prevent their aging diseases like blood pressure, stroke. However, such thinking is only valid to some extent because spending time with family is truly meaningful to old people. They have limited chances to see and gather with other members in the families which makes them feel homesick and has adverse impacts on their health when they live at care centers. On the other hand, I believe that working children should take time to take care of their parents. Having time with family plays a vital role in strengthening family bonds. Old people will not feel left out if their family members engage in family activities such as: taking trips, having dinner together. In addition, there is a tradition that children have to take responsibility to look after their aged parents. They devote their life to nurture children, therefore, when they get older, it’s high time that children are responsible for caring for their parents In conclusion, although rest homes accommodate essential needs for the elderly, I hold the belief that home is always the best place for old people.
Due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of modern life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
devote a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and lose the balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and clerical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Consequently
, they hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
centers. From my perspective, it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
be looked
after by their families.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that the number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
has
been put
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in recent years. Having no sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
be attributed
to modern lifestyle and working pressure. The young, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
excessively
long hours,
as a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
feel lonely when their son and daughter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
away.
Therefore
, nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are the best choice for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Moreover
, senior citizens'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are facilitated
with modern amenities, medical equipment
as well
as doctors, trained staff.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
can have personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
provision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their aging diseases like blood pressure, stroke.
However
, such thinking is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
valid to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
truly
meaningful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They have limited chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and gather with other members in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel homesick and has adverse impacts on their health when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
centers.

On the other hand
, I believe that working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
plays a vital role in strengthening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
activities such as: taking trips, having dinner together.
In addition
, there is a tradition that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take responsibility to look after their aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. They devote their life to nurture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
therefore
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, it’s high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are responsible for caring for their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
parents


In conclusion
, although rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
accommodate essential needs for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
, I hold the belief that home is always the best place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay With the hectic modern life, working children have limited chance to take care of their old parents and nursing homes are believed to be the best place for parents. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts