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Do you agree or disagree with the following information? Should public transportation replace private cars?

with the following information? Should public transportation replace private cars? 8Jlg5
People are divided in their opinion regarding in order to should public transportation replace private cars. There is no doubt that modern inventions have transformed people's jobs and their leisure time, so that many people spend less time taking any exercises. However, it is not so certain that this has damaged their healthy. As far as work is concerned, many people have always use their private transports. This new technologies have not affected physical jobs such as farming or building. In addition to this, it is harmful to our environment. In fact, cars make so many toxic chemicals and fumes. On the other hand, the way people use public transports. Such as bus, train and subway. This is beneficial for human's health. Not only people's health but also our environment. This is one of the things which has made more people laborious. However, people have also damage to environment because they use so many transports, factors and others than in the past, so we should not blame private cars for everything. What is more, new gadgets make easier for human life, and as a result people can achieve more successes. In conclusion, I believe that public transports should replace private cars. In my view, it is difficult to argue about this theme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are divided
in their opinion regarding in order to should public transportation replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. There is no doubt that modern inventions have transformed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's jobs and their leisure time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend less time taking any exercises.
However
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
certain that this has damaged their healthy. As far as work
is concerned
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have always
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "used".
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
. This new technologies have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
physical jobs such as farming or building.
In addition
to this, it is harmful to our environment. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
toxic chemicals and fumes.
On the other hand
, the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
. Such as bus, train and subway. This is beneficial for human's health. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
our environment. This is one of the things which has made more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
laborious.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
also
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "damaged".
damage
to environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
, factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
than in the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should not blame
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for everything.
What is more
, new gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
easier for human life, and
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve more successes.
In conclusion
, I believe that public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
should replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. In my view, it is difficult to argue about this
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IELTS essay with the following information? Should public transportation replace private cars?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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