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With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitats an some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitats an some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem? x1ow
There is no doubt that poaching and forest destruction have impacted the animal population negatively. This essay will explore why I believe that preventing various species of animals from extinction is of utmost importance and propose some methods to mitigate this issue. One of the chief reason, why endangered animals require protection is to maintain an equilibrium between an ecosystem cycle. For example, a herbivores species is dependent on plants for food supply which is later consumed by carnivores, parallelly it will balance the life-cycle of natural inhabitants. If any amongst these species are on the verge of extinction than it may disturb the process of holding every natural component together. Hence, it is cruel to destroy these creatures and one should always emphasize preserving their lives instead. To address the underlying solutions to overcome this problem, firstly strict legal laws should be imposed on committing illegal hunting for human benefits. Many tigers, for instance, are illegally shooted for their skins and bones which can be sold in order to make some money. Thus, by adhering to these laws people might feel reluctant before killing them. Secondly, providing them with a natural dwelling in the form of a zoo as a replacement for utilizing their habitation for urban development can reduce the death ratio which is generally caused due to losing their own territory. Therefore, replacing the living environment with an artificial wildlife park might help to multiply the existing number of animals. In conclusion, human beings risk animal survival in order to fulfil their requirements. However, in my opinion, attempting to preserve these disappearing species is necessary to run the biological-clock of life and it can be achieved by enforcing certain rules before they vanish from the earth surface.
There is no doubt that poaching and forest destruction have impacted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
population
negatively
. This essay will explore why I believe that preventing various species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from extinction is of utmost importance and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
methods to mitigate this issue.

One of the chief reason, why endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
require protection is to maintain an equilibrium between an ecosystem cycle.
For example
, a herbivores species is dependent on plants for food supply which is later consumed by carnivores,
Possible spelling mistake found.
parallelly
it will balance the life-cycle of natural inhabitants.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
any amongst these species are on the verge of extinction than it may disturb the process of holding every natural component together.
Hence
, it is cruel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
these creatures and one should always emphasize preserving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
instead
.

To address the underlying solutions to overcome this problem,
firstly
strict legal laws should
be imposed
on committing illegal hunting for human benefits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
tigers,
for instance
, are
illegally
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "shot", the past tense form of the verb 'shoot'?
shooted
for their skins and bones which can
be sold
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money.
Thus
, by adhering to these laws
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might feel reluctant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
killing them.
Secondly
, providing them with a natural dwelling in the form of a zoo as a replacement for utilizing their habitation for urban development can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the death ratio which is
generally
caused due to losing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
territory.
Therefore
, replacing the living environment with an artificial wildlife park might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to multiply the existing number of animals.

In conclusion
, human beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
survival in order to fulfil their requirements.
However
, in my opinion, attempting to preserve these disappearing species is necessary to run the biological-clock of life and it can
be achieved
by enforcing certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they vanish from the earth surface.

IELTS essay With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitats an some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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