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With an increasing population communication via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree? v.1

With an increasing population communication via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. v. 1
Opinions are divided on whether the environment should be preserved solely by the government or individuals. I think that although the government can make a notable contribution to protect our natural surroundings, the individuals can do more. On the one hand, it is often argued that the liability of protecting the environment lies with those who are in authority. This is because the executive bodies can do legislation for the restraint of diverse environmental issues such as the air, water, and noise pollution. To illustrate, most of the countries are making laws imposing hefty fines on those industrial units which dump their effluents in the open water reservoirs. This helps to keep the natural reserves clean for animal species, as well as for the urban and rural residents from noxious industrial wastes. Another measure the government can take is to run environmental awareness campaigns using multiple forms of mass media like TV, newspapers, and magazines. If people are educated by the government about repercussions of deteriorating the environment, they would protect it in a better way. However, I believe that each person can play a more vital role to conserve one’s neighbourhood. The reason for this is that it is in the hands of each individual to restrict the number of pollutants thrown into the air, water or land. For example, cars are a major source of carbon-based pollution because they exhaust toxic fumes directly into the air. If owners of private vehicles prefer to use public transport for the majority of their work, this will improve the air quality, rendering it breathable. Furthermore, those in charge of their homes can make sure that they dump their household waste properly into recycle stations themselves or by taking the services of a waste management company, rather flushing it directly into the streets, rivers, and canals. Thus, adopting such measures will ensure the safety and cleanliness of our natural habitat. In conclusion, while people have differing views about environmental integrity, I opine that the residents can do more to protect it, despite the efforts the states are making.
Opinions
are divided
on whether the environment should
be preserved
solely
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
or individuals. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a notable contribution to protect our natural surroundings, the individuals can do more.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the liability of protecting the environment lies with those who are in authority. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the executive bodies can do legislation for the restraint of diverse environmental issues such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
, water, and noise pollution. To illustrate, most of the countries are making laws imposing hefty fines on those industrial units which dump their effluents in the open water reservoirs. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the natural reserves clean for animal species,
as well
as for the urban and rural residents from noxious industrial wastes. Another measure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take is to run environmental awareness campaigns using multiple forms of mass media like TV, newspapers, and magazines. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are educated
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
about repercussions of deteriorating the environment, they would protect it in a better way.

However
, I believe that each person can play a more vital role to conserve one’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
The reason for this is
that it is in the hands of each individual to restrict the number of pollutants thrown into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
, water or land.
For example
, cars are a major source of carbon-based pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they exhaust toxic fumes
directly
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
. If owners of private vehicles prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport for the majority of their work, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality, rendering it breathable.
Furthermore
, those in charge of their homes can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they dump their household waste
properly
into recycle stations themselves or by taking the services of a waste management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
rather
flushing it
directly
into the streets, rivers, and canals.
Thus
, adopting such measures will ensure the safety and cleanliness of our natural habitat.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have differing views about environmental integrity, I opine that the residents can do more to protect it, despite the efforts the states are making.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay With an increasing population communication via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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