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Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. v. 2
Humans across history are increasingly suffering from wars and planet destruction. The advent of nuclear power made life safer and provided cheaper and environment-friendly energy sources. This essay will discuss why I strongly agree with this opinion because nuclear power is a major player in our war against global warming and financial inflation. The use of oil as the ultimate source of energy destroyed our environment. Industries and cars across the world release billions of liters of harmful gases that damage the ozone layer, pollute our air and lead to catastrophic consequences on humanity by worsening global warming. For example, in a crowded city like New York, people always use face-masks to filter the air they breathe due to the smoky clouds of harmful gases. Therefore, immediate action is needed to get new legislation to use the alternative cost-effective and healthier nuclear power. The acquisition of nuclear power among powerful nations, with no dought, had led to a safer world. This is because when many strong nations have their own nuclear weapons, this will greatly limit the possibilities of a direct war between these countries as both politicians and citizens understand well that by pressing a single button the whole country will suffer. For example, everyone should keep in mind the hard lesson during world war two when the USA destroyed two Japanese cities within hours by a nuclear bomb. For this reason, having a nuclear weapon made life safer. In conclusion, this essay discussed why it is vital to rely on nuclear power to make our world healthier and our air cleaner as it will save us from the detrimental consequences of global warming and it will make us feel safer as thinking of the destroying effect of nuclear weapons will stop wars.
Humans across history are
increasingly
suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
and planet destruction. The advent of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
made life safer and provided cheaper and environment-friendly energy sources. This essay will discuss why I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
is a major player in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
against global warming and financial inflation.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of oil as the ultimate source of energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
our environment. Industries and cars across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
release billions of liters of harmful gases that damage the ozone layer, pollute our air and lead to catastrophic consequences on humanity by worsening global warming.
For example
, in a crowded city like New York,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
face-masks to filter the air they breathe due to the smoky clouds of harmful gases.
Therefore
, immediate action
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
new legislation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the alternative cost-effective and healthier nuclear power.

The acquisition of nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
among powerful nations, with
Possible spelling mistake found.
no dought
, had led to a safer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
strong nations have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nuclear weapons, this will
greatly
limit the possibilities of a direct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
between these countries as both politicians and citizens understand well that by pressing a single button the whole country will suffer.
For example
, everyone should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
lesson during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
two when the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
two Japanese cities within hours by a nuclear bomb.
For this reason
, having a nuclear weapon made life safer.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed why it is vital to rely on nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
healthier and our air cleaner as it will save us from the detrimental consequences of global warming and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us feel safer
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
thinking of the destroying effect of nuclear weapons will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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