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Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources. AjJWl
The dramatic decreasing in the number of wildlife species around the world is linked to the destruction of their natural habitats by people. Although governments creates wildlife sanctuaries and shelters due to their protection, some people argue that these taken actions are the misdirection of resources in 21th century. I completly disagree with this view and strongly believe that these animals need our protection. In the one hand, the Earth is not only hosts people, the other creatures also play the role in the Earth’s ecosystem. The food chain is the backbone of this ecosystem. Furthermore, wild animals and humans are in the top of food chain and trees, insects, fishes, birds are also the acting a significant role in this circle. However, the extinction of one type of species in food chain could give its place to other species. By contrast, this extinction might lead to the extinctions of the other species and our world would suffer hunger. Furthermore, it is unarguable that, wild animals were used to worship as holy-creatures by many tribes and due to their effects on people and nowadays, scientists and engineers also study wildlife to cure some diseases and to make machines or planes inspired by them such as eagles. On the other hand, some countries such as Africa, earn money from safari where attracts millions of tourists want to see beasts every year. According to the one research that the wild animals such as wolves can change their habitats. The Yellowstone National Park on America revealed that in the mid 90s, the management wiped out all wolves due they kill elks and thought that this was necessary. In spite of this view, during the next 70 years, the number of trees dipped, the river dried and many species extincted due to the growth of elks in the Yellowstone park. Finally, the management introduced again wolves into the park and everything recovered. In conclusion, the protection of wild animals is significantly necessary in all centuries. The mother Earth has place for all creatures and the most important thing is that all living things, including us, depends on each other for our own benefits.
The dramatic decreasing in the number of wildlife species around the world
is linked
to the destruction of their natural habitats by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
creates wildlife sanctuaries and shelters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their protection,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that these taken actions are the misdirection of resources in
Please check the suffix, if this is an ordinal number.
21th
century. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
completly
disagree with this view and
strongly
believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
need our protection.

In the one hand, the Earth is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hosts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
creatures
also
play the role in the Earth’s ecosystem. The food chain is the backbone of this ecosystem.
Furthermore
, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and humans are in the top of food chain and trees, insects, fishes, birds are
also
the acting a significant role in this circle.
However
, the extinction of one type of species in food chain could give its place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species. By contrast, this extinction might lead to the extinctions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species and our world would suffer hunger.
Furthermore
, it is unarguable that, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to worship as holy-creatures by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tribes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to their effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and nowadays, scientists and engineers
also
study wildlife to cure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
machines or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
inspired by them such as eagles.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries such as Africa, earn money from safari where attracts millions of tourists want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
beasts every year. According to the one research that the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as wolves can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their habitats. The Yellowstone National Park on America revealed that in the mid 90s, the management wiped out all wolves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
they kill elks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that this was necessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this view, during the
next
70 years, the number of trees dipped, the river dried and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species extincted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the growth of elks in the Yellowstone park.
Finally
, the management introduced again wolves into the park and everything recovered.

In conclusion
, the protection of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is
significantly
necessary in all centuries. The mother Earth has place for all creatures and the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is that all living things, including us, depends on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits.
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IELTS essay Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resources.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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