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Why people don't like participate in sport activities

Why people don't like participate in sport activities 6mnEW
1. It is true that participating in sports activities brings a lot of benefits to people not only physically but also mentally. Typically, it helps to tone the body as well as help reduce stress extremely effectively. However, some people who do not like participating in sports activities also have their own good reasons. Because, this has a great effect on their time, mental health, and confidence. Firstly, engaging in sports activities takes away a lot of their time. People believe that today's increasingly developed society leads to extremely busy people. If in the past, men went to work and women did housework, now everyone has their own job. Moreover, their leisure time is remarkably luxurious, let alone participating in sports activities. Take university students as an example, in the morning, they have to attend their courses at school, then in the evening, they have to work part-time to earn extra income, even late at night, they have to sacrifice their sleep time to study. Therefore, with that inadequate time, they cannot participate in sports activities. Secondly, sports activities also have a strong impact on their mental health. There are some people with weak health, so take part in sports activities makes them feel exhausted. This is certainly a valid reason. Research shows that people with underlying cardiovascular and neurological diseases should not participate in vigorous activities because it puts pressure on the heart as well as other parts of the body, causing difficulty breathing, even death. Hence, in order to maintain stable health and preserve their living, they should only walk or exercise lightly, but should not join in sports activities. Last but not least, this also adversely affects their confidence because of their body odor after training. Almost everyone knows that a few people have quite a strong body odor, they do not want to be active to always feel self-confident in front of others. Although, this is an unreasonable thing, this truth I have heard from a few friends. There are a few studies that show that people with drastic body odor are due to their sweat glands being more developed than the average person. So when they are still working, they will be very difficult to control. In summary, some people do not love playing sports activities because of the great influence it has on their time, mental health, and confidence. This is also a pity for them. In my point at view, participating in sports exercises is extremely beneficial, because they help us stay healthy and beautiful more and more. Hopefully, everyone has the physical and mental conditions to be able to take part in these activities for more resilient health.
1. It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participating
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
physically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
mentally.
Typically
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to tone the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
extremely
effectively
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participating
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
also
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, this has a great effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and confidence.

Firstly
, engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
takes away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
increasingly
developed society leads to
extremely
busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If in the past,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
went to work and women did housework,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
everyone has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
job.
Moreover
, their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
remarkably
luxurious,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participating
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Take university students as an example, in the morning, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
attend their courses at school, then in the evening, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work part-time to earn extra income, even late at night, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sacrifice their sleep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to study.
Therefore
, with that inadequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they cannot participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
also
have a strong impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel exhausted. This is
certainly
a valid reason. Research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with underlying cardiovascular and neurological diseases should not participate in vigorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it puts pressure on the heart
as well
as other parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, causing difficulty breathing, even death.
Hence
, in order to maintain stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and preserve their living, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
walk or exercise
lightly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, this
also
adversely
affects their confidence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
odor after training. Almost everyone knows that a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have quite a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
odor, they do not want to be active to always feel self-confident in front of others. Although, this is an unreasonable thing, this truth I have heard from a few friends. There are a few studies that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with drastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
odor are due to their sweat glands being more developed than the average person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when they are
still
working, they will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to control.

In summary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the great influence it has on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, and confidence. This is
also
a pity for them. In my point at view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participating
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
exercises is
extremely
beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us stay healthy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
more and more.
Hopefully
, everyone has the physical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
conditions to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for more resilient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
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IELTS essay Why people don't like participate in sport activities

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
446 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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