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Relation ship between teenagers and parents is not good. What are the solutions?

Relation ship between teenagers and parents is not good. What are the solutions? 86ojV
In fast paced life, to win the bread for family both peesons in the family will go out for work to earn some money. Thus, leads to little time to be with their childern. In turn relationship between teenagers and parents is not at is best. Firstly, the main reason is the generation gap between teenagers and parents. If parents insist the childern that some rules, which are changed a lot in recent times. Thus, it leads to bad relationship. The possible solution is the childern must sit together with parents and discuss a lot of things about life and share feeling each other. By doing that parents can access about current lifestyle and leads to good relationship among teenagers and parents. Mostly, parents are not open to technological advancements and whenever teenagers use lot of them parents think that they are wasting important part of life. The possible way to change opinion about this is to know about usage of technological advancements. For example, in olden days we cannot study without using pen and paper. But, now teenagers use lot mobiles to read as well as to write. So, by not knowing about what they are doing hours and hours on mobile parents cannot scold them about using mobiles. If parents know benefits by studing in mobile they encourage them, thus leads to healthy realtionship. In my terms, the above proposed solutions can be quite benefical in creating heal relationship between teenagers and childern.
In
fast
paced life, to win the bread for family both
peesons
in the family will go out for work to earn
some
money.
Thus
, leads to
little
time to be with their
childern
. In turn
relationship
between
teenagers
and
parents
is not at is best.

Firstly
, the main reason is the generation gap between
teenagers
and
parents
. If
parents
insist the
childern
that
some
rules
, which are
changed
a
lot
in recent times.
Thus
, it leads to
bad
relationship
. The possible solution is the
childern
must
sit together with
parents
and discuss a
lot
of things about life and share feeling each other. By doing that
parents
can access about
current
lifestyle and leads to
good
relationship
among
teenagers
and parents.

Mostly
,
parents
are not open to technological advancements and whenever
teenagers
use
lot of
them
parents
think
that they are wasting
important
part of life. The possible way to
change
opinion about this is to know about usage of technological advancements.
For example
, in olden days we cannot study without using pen and paper.
But
,
now
teenagers
use
lot
mobiles to read
as well
as to write.
So
, by not knowing about what they are doing hours and hours on mobile
parents
cannot scold them about using mobiles. If
parents
know benefits by
studing
in mobile they encourage them,
thus
leads to healthy
realtionship
.

In my terms, the above proposed solutions can be quite
benefical
in creating heal
relationship
between
teenagers
and
childern
.
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IELTS essay Relation ship between teenagers and parents is not good. What are the solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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