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Why people do visit a museum

Why people do visit a museum E360b
Nowadays people sometimes arrange to visit museums to look at various pieces of artwork remaining from the past. Everyone has a particular goal in their mind, which encourages them to visit such places. Therefore, I am not able to discuss all the motives people have for their decision, but I will point out the most outstanding reasons from my point of view. My first reason and maybe the most important one is that the fast pace of life today puts a lot of pressure and stress on people. They have to spend a long time at the workplace or in traffic to make a living, which leads to a variety of mental disorders. From my point of view, after a day of hard work, people actually need to relieve these pressures to restore their healthy lifestyle. One of the best ways to ease emotional pains is to visit popular places like museums. When people go to these places, they will get so much pleasure and relaxation since they no longer have to think about their responsibilities as an employee or a father, for instance. They are only supposed to enjoy themselves and look at amazing types of artifacts present there. The second reason I want to give is that by turning around different parts of a museum, people learn a multitude of lessons from the past. They have the opportunity to see the negative consequences of lack of justice, freedom of speech, and equality in society. Many previous rulers could not save their authority because of not paying attention to human rights, and that's what modern-day governments should be cognizant of while learning about past kingdoms. In my opinion, it is a good idea to arrange tours for children to visit a museum and allow them to know about significant historical events, like the big revolutions in Europe during the past 5 centuries. Lastly, this way people can learn more about the cultural and social aspects of the country they reside in. It not only gives them a lot of pleasure but also offers them a chance to become familiar with ancient cultures and traditions inherited from their ancestors. This will make them feel proud of their cultural achievements. In summary, based on the aforementioned arguments, there are a myriad of reasons that persuade people to visit museums. Some of them, such as great opportunities to relax, learning historical lessons from the past, and become familiar with cultural and traditional achievements, are mentioned above. However, that was like a story in a nutshell. Actually, there are some other reasons and examples challenging our arguments, which are not mentioned above. All in all, I firmly believe that going to museums has a positive influence on our attitudes.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
arrange to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
to look at various pieces of artwork remaining from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. Everyone has a particular goal in their mind, which encourages them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
such places.
Therefore
, I am not able to discuss all the motives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have for their decision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I will point out the most outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
from my point of view.

My
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
and maybe the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one is that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
puts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a long time at the workplace or in traffic to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living, which leads to a variety of mental disorders. From my point of view, after a day of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
actually need to relieve these pressures to restore their healthy lifestyle. One of the best ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
emotional pains is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
popular places like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to these places, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much pleasure and relaxation since they no longer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about their responsibilities as an employee or a father,
for instance
. They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
supposed to enjoy themselves and look at amazing types of artifacts present there.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
I want to give is that by turning around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn a multitude of lessons from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. They have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of lack of justice, freedom of speech, and equality in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
previous rulers could not save their authority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not paying attention to human rights, and that's what modern-day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should be cognizant of while learning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
kingdoms. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to arrange tours for children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to know about significant historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, like the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
revolutions in Europe during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
5 centuries.

Lastly
, this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn more about the cultural and social aspects of the country they reside in. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pleasure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
offers them a chance to become familiar with ancient cultures and traditions inherited from their ancestors. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel proud of their cultural achievements.

In summary, based on the aforementioned arguments, there are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them, such as great opportunities to relax, learning historical lessons from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, and become familiar with cultural and traditional achievements,
are mentioned
above.
However
, that was like a story in a nutshell. Actually, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and examples challenging our arguments, which are not mentioned above. All in all, I
firmly
believe that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on our attitudes.
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IELTS essay Why people do visit a museum

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
456 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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