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why people are more overweight than ever nowadays

why people are more overweight than ever nowadays dbd2
Nowadays the number of overweight people is constantly increasing. This is a dire situation; because, the number of deaths from obesity exceeded the number of people who died from cancer. But what has changed from the past to the present and people started to gain extra weight? In the past, people had to walk or use animals to get where they wanted. They were fit and did not have weight problems due to their daily walks. Of course, they got tired while walking the long roads. So, they had to get plenty of rest on the long distances they took. Jobs that needed manpower were important in the past. Many people working in these jobs were strong and agile. Some people were not suitable for this job because they could not eat enough. People who ate regularly and well could do these jobs. Nowadays, people no longer face such difficulties as before. They found many inventions to make their lives easier. This includes things like cars, planes, phones, and televisions. They don't need to walk for hours to go a long way anymore. They don't travel for days to deliver a message. Life is easier now than before. Overall, the reason people nowadays gain excess weight is that their lives are getting easier. Due to the difficult living conditions in the past, people were always working on the move. Now you can work and order food without leaving home. For healthy lives, we must pay attention to our movements and exercises.
Nowadays the number of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is
constantly
increasing. This is a dire situation;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the number of deaths from obesity exceeded the number of
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
from cancer.
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But
what has
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changed
from the
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past
to the present and
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to gain extra weight?

In the
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past
,
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people
had to walk or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
animals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
where they wanted. They
were fit
and did not have weight problems due to their daily walks.
Of course
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
tired while walking the long roads.
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So
, they had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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plenty
of rest on the long distances they took.

Jobs that needed manpower were
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important
in the
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past
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
working in these jobs were strong and agile.
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Some
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people
were not suitable for this job
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because
they could not eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
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People
who ate
regularly
and well could do these jobs.

Nowadays,
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people
no longer face such difficulties as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. They found
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many
inventions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier. This includes things like cars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
, phones, and televisions. They don't need to walk for hours to go a long way anymore. They don't travel for days to deliver a message. Life is easier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Overall
, the reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays gain excess weight is that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are getting easier. Due to the difficult living conditions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were always working on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
you can work and order food without leaving home. For healthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay attention to our movements and exercises.
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IELTS essay why people are more overweight than ever nowadays

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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