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why music is needed? explain your idea.

why music is needed? explain your idea. 5BO9V
Music has been always a vital part of human’s life. In the other hand, this art has always affected on all aspects of our lives, undoubtedly. In our modern world, we have different type of music for alternative references. We want to probe these types and also, find out why we need music and what are the music effects. Psychologists find out music is a sedative medicine to reform mental disorders and a helpful instrument for concentration. In order to have a high efficiency for doing a certain activity or job and even, studying some courses, music is perfect. By enhancing your concentration, you can focus on a specific stuff and do it better. Hens, listening to a calm music could prepare your requirements. Also, music is an art and this art reflect a nation’s attitude and culture and it is a best way to share this information with the other society. Music is an instrument tell the today’s issues by an indirect method and also, a way for protestation against wrong rules and behavior. Nowadays, we have a lot of music types, include traditional, hip hop, classic, etc. It is so important that we hear a suitable song, due to the fact that terrible music could harm our souls and has awful reflections. Traditional music contains a nation’s tradition and culture, so it is necessary to be familiar with this type of music and encourage our children to follow these songs in order to learn and approach our history and culture. To sum up, although music is required for society, but the point is the importance of choosing the right songs, because unsuitable song could destroy our history, culture and traditions and could be harmful for new generations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has been always a vital part of human’s life. In the other hand, this art has always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on all aspects of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
undoubtedly
. In our modern world, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for alternative references. We want to probe these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
and
also
, find out why we need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and what are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
effects.

Psychologists find out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a sedative medicine to reform mental disorders and a helpful instrument for concentration. In order to have a high efficiency for doing a certain activity or job and even, studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is perfect. By enhancing your concentration, you can focus on a specific stuff and do it better. Hens, listening to a calm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
could prepare your requirements.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an art and this art reflect a nation’s attitude and culture and it is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best way to share this information with the other society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is an instrument
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s issues by an indirect method and
also
, a way for protestation against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and behavior.

Nowadays, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
,
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "includes".
include
traditional, hip hop, classic, etc. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that we hear a suitable song, due to the fact that terrible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
could harm our souls and has awful reflections. Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
contains a nation’s tradition and culture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is necessary to be familiar with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and encourage our children to follow these songs in order to learn and approach our history and culture.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is required
for society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the point is the importance of choosing the right songs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
unsuitable song could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
our history, culture and traditions and could be harmful for new generations.
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IELTS essay why music is needed? explain your idea.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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