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In this modern era, many people's habits

In this modern era, many people's habits 86eMB
spend more time outside their homes than before. There could be a variety of reasons relevant to such an act. This essay is an attempt to elucidate some of these common reasons behind this phenomenon and the potential effects on both people and the community. To begin, a demanding lifestyle may be the major factor in spending less time at home. Therefore, Individuals quest constantly for enhancing their quality of life due to excessive price increases in goods and services. This high living cost and the competition in the job market drives many employees to be responsible for more work hours and overload tasks to meet their afforded needs. Consequently, the stressful working environment can lead to severe depression which affects negatively workers’ performance in the office. On the other hand, the situation might result in a shortage of communication between families. Accordingly, people may consume less time indoors than outdoors as a result of busy work and other causes such as the variety of entertainment facilities. Another main factor, people have never seen several public activities supporting entertainment elements as they have now. Which in turn, have attracted the individuals powerfully to change their behavior and daily routines to enjoy their interests. A possible outcome of this change is that it makes individuals more open-minded to share their ideas and discuss topics in which they are interested, thereby making them feel that they are not alone in this world. The more satisfied the person is with their lives, the more flourishing the society is. To conclude, the demanding lifestyle and the abundant entertainment facilities could be one of the most significant reasons that lead to a less time-consuming at home. Thus, this phenomenon may affect both personal life and the whole society.
spend
more time outside their homes than
before
. There could be a variety of reasons relevant to such an act. This essay is an attempt to elucidate
some
of these common reasons behind this phenomenon and the potential effects on both
people
and the community.

To
begin
, a demanding lifestyle may be the major factor in spending less time at home.
Therefore
, Individuals quest
constantly
for enhancing their quality of life due to excessive price increases in
goods
and services. This high living cost and the competition in the job market drives
many
employees to be responsible for more work hours and overload tasks to
meet
their afforded needs.
Consequently
, the stressful working environment can lead to severe depression which affects
negatively
workers’ performance in the office.
On the other hand
, the situation might result in a shortage of communication between families.
Accordingly
,
people
may consume less time indoors than outdoors
as a result
of busy work and other causes such as the variety of entertainment facilities.

Another main factor,
people
have never
seen
several public activities supporting entertainment elements as they have
now
. Which in turn, have attracted the individuals
powerfully
to
change
their behavior and daily routines to enjoy their interests.

A possible outcome of this
change
is that it
makes
individuals more open-minded to share their
ideas
and discuss topics in which they
are interested
, thereby making them feel that they are not alone in this world. The more satisfied the person is with their
lives
, the more flourishing the society is.

To conclude
, the demanding lifestyle and the abundant entertainment facilities could be one of the most significant reasons that lead to a less time-consuming at home.
Thus
, this phenomenon may affect both personal life and the whole society.
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IELTS essay In this modern era, many people's habits

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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