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Why do people want to change their physical appearance?

Why do people want to change their physical appearance? 1ADVN
Once upon a time, "Handsome is as handsome does, " as the early people used to say. They valued a person's worth at the time based on the attractiveness of the soul and inner. However, as the twenty-first century progresses, from the steam revolution to the industrial 4. 0 period, individuals are increasingly becoming more conscious of their physical appearance. They tend to pay more attention to and care for their appearance. As a result, many people have discovered several techniques to alter their look. So, why would they want to undertake such a thing? I will discuss and emphasize it in more depth below. Nowadays, many people place more emphasis on looks than on personal development. The desire to pursue higher education is less than the desire to spend on beauty. Even when consumers go to shopping centres, they prefer to go straight to the fashion department rather than the book-selling section. For instance, when students were in 12th grade, they were pushed to wear a lot of make-up instead of studying for the entrance exam. Moreover, Many people even spend a lot of money on plastic surgery. I believe there are many reasons why they do that. To begin with, most people place more importance on appearance than personal development. Because attractive looks will be a factor leading to success in careers as well as life. I will give an example to make it easier for you to understand. When a company posts a job advertisement, there are two girls, one is really beautiful and one has no appearance, the same education level or even the beautiful girl has a lower qualification, the employers also consider hiring her. The rate of being accepted into the company of the beautiful girl will be much higher. Secondly, having good looks make people good at communicating. A person whose appearance will make people around want to talk and get to know her. Thereby helping them to expand and create many relationships in life and work. Furthermore, create a premise to help them advance and develop their careers. We all form opinions about people based on their looks. This might be wrong to judge individuals physical attractiveness, but this is how people immediately evaluate others, and if people who say this is unjustifiable were entirely truthful with oneself, they would notice that they are no different from the rest everyone else when it start to select judgments about humans based at a first look. So, if someone is having nice looks, we can not deny that they get attractions and attract others around them. Last but not least, it is self-confidence. Confidence is critical for success, and nice appearances may make someone appear confident even though they are not. Self-confidence in your looks will assist you in overcoming anxieties and gaining confidence. In some occupations, the confidence that comes from excellent appearance may make a huge difference. For example, a celebrity has to always look her best or a stunning seller might attract a lot of attention. In a nutshell overall, we have gained a better understanding of the major reasons why many individuals want to modify their look as a result of the given information. Appearance is linked to success in several ways. Because the first impression of a person is fundamental. So, changing appearance is always chosen by those who want to seek success in their lives and occupations.
Once upon a time,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Handsome is as handsome does,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
as the early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to say. They valued a person's worth at the time based on the attractiveness of the soul and inner.
However
, as the twenty-
first
century progresses, from the steam revolution to the industrial 4. 0 period, individuals are
increasingly
becoming more conscious of their physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
. They tend to pay more attention to and care for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have discovered several techniques to alter their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, why would they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to undertake such a thing? I will discuss and emphasize it in more depth below.

Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
place more emphasis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
than on personal development. The desire to pursue higher education is less than the desire to spend on beauty. Even when consumers go to shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, they prefer to go straight to the fashion department
rather
than the book-selling section.
For instance
, when students were in 12th grade, they
were pushed
to wear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
-up
instead
of studying for the entrance exam.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on plastic surgery. I believe there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why they do that.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
place more importance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
than personal development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
will be a factor leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in careers
as well
as life. I will give an example to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it easier for you to understand. When a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
posts a job advertisement, there are two girls, one is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and one has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
, the same education level or even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
girl has a lower qualification, the employers
also
consider hiring her. The rate of being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
into the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
girl will be much higher.

Secondly
, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at communicating. A person whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to talk and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know her. Thereby helping them to expand and create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
relationships in life and work.
Furthermore
, create a premise to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them advance and develop their careers. We all form opinions about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
. This might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to judge individuals physical attractiveness,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immediately evaluate others, and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who say this is unjustifiable were
entirely
truthful with oneself, they would notice that they are no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the rest everyone else when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to select judgments about humans based at a
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if someone is having nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
, we can not deny that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attractions and attract others around them.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it is self-confidence. Confidence is critical for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, and nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearances
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "appears", "appeared".
appear
confident
even though
they are not. Self-confidence in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looks
will assist you in overcoming anxieties and gaining confidence. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occupations, the confidence that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a huge difference.
For example
, a celebrity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
her best or a stunning seller might attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
attention.

In a nutshell
overall
, we have gained a better understanding of the major reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to modify their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
as a result
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Appearance
is linked
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in several ways.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the
first
impression of a person is fundamental.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
is always chosen by those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and occupations.
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IELTS essay Why do people want to change their physical appearance?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
569 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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