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why do people attract to difficult sports

why do people attract to difficult sports g51Ql
. Dangerous sports are interesting for most people to watch and read about. Only certain kinds of people, however are interesting in participating in theses sport. Often, they are people who love risks, who seek a feeling of power, or who need to deal with some personal problems. First, dangerous sports attract risk takers. People often take risk in their lives. They take risk with their money, with their jobs, and in love. But this are ordinary risks. Nothing compare to the risk of putting your own life in danger. risking ones lives in on danger sport has a special thrill that is very attractive o someone. In addition, Dangerous sports attract people who want to feel a power. It is a great accomplish to climb a difficult mountain or to learn how to sky dive. When people do these and still end up alive, they fell like they have conquered the force of nature. What felling of power must give them. Finally, I think dangerous sport attract some un happy people. People who do not like their job or who have problems with their families may turn to dangerous sport as a way of dealing with their problems. Learning something dangerous may or difficult make them fell worthwhile. It can give them something interesting to focus their attention on.
Don't put a space before the full stop
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This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are interesting for most
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people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and read about.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
certain kinds of
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people
,
however
are
Did you mean "interested"?
interesting
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in participating in
Did you mean "these"?
theses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, they are
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people
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
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risks
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
seek a feeling of power, or
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who
need to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal problems.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
takers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
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often
take
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risk
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. They take
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risk
with their money, with their jobs, and in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean "these are", "this is" or "this was"?
this are
ordinary
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risks
. Nothing compare to the
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risk
of putting your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
risking
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
has a special thrill
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
attractive o someone.

In addition
,
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Dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to feel a power. It is a great accomplish to climb a difficult mountain or to learn how to sky dive. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do these and
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up alive, they fell like they have conquered the force of nature. What felling of power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give them.

Finally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not like their job or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have problems with their families may turn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as a way of dealing with their problems. Learning something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
may or difficult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them fell worthwhile. It can give them something interesting to focus their attention on.
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IELTS essay why do people attract to difficult sports

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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