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Do you feel that students should be required to participate in physical education in school?

Do you feel that students should be required to participate in physical education in school? 2bg1J
In these days school has been determining plan to provide better condition for students because students prefer spend time in school with veriety programs. While some people maintain that school should focus on mental academic programs, there are others holding the idea that school should provide suitable condition for physical education. As far as I am concernde, school should be make plan for physical education in that not only healthy condition for study is provided by physical education, but also scocial skills are tought by physical education. The first reason which should be maintained here is that healthy method is prepared by physical education. Students have enough time to participate in movement programs, so they increase movement of their body and protect their body front of gathering fat. This lifestyle makes their body in shape, and then physical style promote their self-reliance. For example, they put veriety cloths like sport and formel because their body is pretty into any cloth styles. In addition, they take sport course and they spend time in regular sport class. It is provides mandatory condition for exercise. Therefore, they run and jump, and then increase their heartbeat. Anyway, activity time protect them front of heart diseas, also their body release exciting hormon such Adrenalin. Hence, they enjoy of their time and better concentrate on study by healthy lifestyle. Another factor which deserves to be considered is that social lessons are educated by physical education. University provide good opportunity for students to spend time beside each other. As well as, groupy work causes they aware of their personality problems, such as they face with variatin persons with different bliefes. They learn communicate with each person regardless their personalty notions. Besides, they have well opportunity to benefit of consult and brainstorming. Likewise, they recognize with new experinces, which are valuable for future. Apart from, they learn social skills, which are very diferent from academic abilities. For example, students join to soccer team at compus, they should use of sport languich to collaborate with other students. They needs more running, replacing and devide duties with their teammate till arrive to team's goal. To put everything in a nutshell, physical education is wise plan for all schools because students keep their body in healthy condition and they increase their social knowledge and experiences. Highly recommended is that schools should spend huge money to build gym for teach physical skills to students.
In these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has been determining plan to
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provide
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
veriety
programs. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
maintain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should focus on mental academic programs, there are others holding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. As far as I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
concernde
,
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school
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
plan for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
for study
is provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
scocial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
tought
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education.

The
first
reason which should
be maintained
here is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
method
is prepared
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to participate in movement programs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they increase movement of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and protect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
front of gathering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
. This lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
in shape, and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
style promote their self-reliance.
For example
, they put
Possible spelling mistake found.
veriety
cloths like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
formel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
is pretty into any cloth styles.
In addition
, they take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
course and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
for exercise.
Therefore
, they run and jump, and then increase their heartbeat. Anyway, activity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
protect them front of heart
Possible spelling mistake found.
diseas
,
also
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
release exciting
Possible spelling mistake found.
hormon
such Adrenalin.
Hence
, they enjoy of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and better concentrate on study by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.

Another factor which deserves to
be considered
is that social lessons
are educated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. University
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "provides".
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
beside each other.
As well
as,
Possible spelling mistake found.
groupy
work causes they aware of their personality problems, such as they face with
Possible spelling mistake found.
variatin
persons with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
bliefes
. They learn
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to communicate"
communicate
with each person regardless their personalty notions.
Besides
, they have well opportunity to benefit of consult and brainstorming.
Likewise
, they recognize with new
Possible spelling mistake found.
experinces
, which are valuable for future. Apart from, they learn social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
diferent
from academic abilities.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
to soccer team at
Possible spelling mistake found.
compus
, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
Possible spelling mistake found.
languich
to collaborate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. They
The pronoun 'They' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "need"
needs
more running, replacing and
Possible spelling mistake found.
devide
duties with their teammate till arrive to team's goal.

To put everything in a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is wise plan for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
condition and
they increase their social knowledge and experiences.
Highly
recommended is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
huge money to build gym for teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.

IELTS essay Do you feel that students should be required to participate in physical education in school?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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