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While selecting employment, some person think salary is important to choose a job and some other think atmosphere is important to choose a job. Give both view and your opinion.

While selecting employment, some person think salary is important to choose a job and some other think atmosphere is important to choose a job. Give both view and your opinion. oR17V
Employment is one of the vital reason for human being to have sophisticated lifestyle. While some persons think salary should be given preference for choosing a job, others are outweighing it stating that place is the main sorting point to opt for a work. According to my view, I agree with the people who choose income when selecting a job offer. Even though there are many criteria in opting the work, the first and foremost option will be salary because most of the employers give cent percent dedication and hard work, when satisfied with their pay and not other factors. As most of their lifetime is spent for work, their need can only be compensated with the amount they earn, which makes them happy. For instance, if the person is placed for work with average salary of 10000 per month and when compelling to work for more than 15 hours for a day might bring him stress, where he obviously compare the work timing with salary given that's make him more frustrated. On the other hand, while considering the economic factors, money plays a significant role in all life to at least the basic need of self and as a family. While considering a sex factor, location plays an important role to select a job where safety and security is given weightage. Even though the salary is low, the employers should be feeling comfortable with the diversity in which they work to avoid mistakes and give high number of productivity which inversely gain profit to the employee. Moreover, it keeps then relax and stress free to complete the work fast too. For example, at least a basic hygiene related facility should be there and checked on weekly basis. To conclude, money enrich the human life and comprises many of the essential feature which only can make person happy, give fame and food to be alive in this world. Thus, while choosing a job, wooing on money is best and novel.
Employment is one of the vital reason for human being to have sophisticated lifestyle. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
preference for choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, others are outweighing it stating that place is the main sorting point to opt for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. According to my view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who choose income when selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offer.

Even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
criteria in opting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, the
first
and foremost option will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the employers give cent percent dedication and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, when satisfied with their pay and not other factors. As most of their lifetime
is spent
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, their need can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be compensated
with the amount they earn, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy.
For instance
, if the person
is placed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of 10000 per month and when compelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for more than 15 hours for a day might bring him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, where he
obviously
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "compares", "compared".
compare
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
timing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him more frustrated.
On the other hand
, while considering the economic factors, money plays a significant role in all life to at least the basic need of self and as a family.

While considering a sex factor, location plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to select a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
where safety and security is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
weightage.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is low, the employers should be feeling comfortable with the diversity in which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to avoid mistakes and give high number of productivity which
inversely
gain profit to the employee.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
then relax and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free to complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
too.
For example
, at least a basic hygiene related facility should be there and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
on weekly basis.

To conclude
, money enrich the human life and comprises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the essential feature which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
person happy, give fame and food to be alive in this world.
Thus
, while choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, wooing on money is best and novel.
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IELTS essay While selecting employment, some person think salary is important to choose a job and some other think atmosphere is important to choose a job. Give both view and your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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