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Where to spend government budget?

Where to spend government budget? q1WnX
It has been believed that the public transportation system is the one on which the government should prioritize to allocate the governmental budget. However, I believe there is an urgent important issue for the government today to address, namely improving Internet access. As I see it, there are two main reasons why I feel this way. To begin with, Internet has become an essential part of our contemporary life. We can't do anything without Internet access or digital devices ranging from learning to work. In particular, after the pandemic hit all across the world, our daily lives became hugely dependent on the Internet. For instance, now schools are offering their classes online. That is, if students don't have a personal computer or live in an area where the Internet service doesn't reach, they are likely to be exempted from getting a normal education service. It seems clear that our society is moving so quickly toward the technology-oriented world thus, the dependence on the Internet will increase. In that sense, it is wise to finance government money on imporving Internet access for everyone. On top of that, given the amount of time and money that will be put in, working on better Internet access is more efficient than enhancing the public transportation system. When we think about building a new train station, we should expect a long process to pull it off. Not only the station should be built, but also a new rail should be made to connect to other stations, which are fairly demanding tasks. Furthermore, all these essential works to make a train run are fairly expensive as well. On the other hand, it is much cheaper and less time-consuming to enhance Internet access. This is mainly because a basic web for Internet access is already more or less established given the research indicates that 90 percent of the population has an access to the Internet either at home or at work. The only step left is to upgrade the existing services, which will cost less time and money than building a new one. ​ To sum up, as society is requiring people to adapt to the digitalized world, Internet access has growing importance of our daily lives. Given this prospect as well as the economic values, I strongly believe that it is wise to invest government budget on the improvement of Internet access.
It has
been believed
that the public transportation system is the one on which the
government
should prioritize to allocate the governmental budget.
However
, I believe there is an urgent
important
issue for the
government
today
to address,
namely
improving Internet
access
. As I
see
it, there are two main reasons why I feel this way.

To
begin
with, Internet has become an essential part of our contemporary life. We can't do anything without Internet
access
or digital devices ranging from learning to work.
In particular
, after the pandemic hit all across the world, our daily
lives
became
hugely
dependent on the Internet.
For instance
,
now
schools are offering their classes online.
That is
, if students don't have a personal computer or
live
in an area where the Internet service doesn't reach, they are likely to
be exempted
from getting a normal education service. It seems
clear
that our society is moving
so
quickly
toward the technology-oriented world
thus
, the dependence on the Internet will increase. In that sense, it is wise to finance
government
money on
imporving
Internet
access
for everyone.

On top of that
,
given
the amount of time and money that will
be put
in, working on better Internet
access
is more efficient than enhancing the public transportation system. When we
think
about building a new train station, we should
expect
a long process to pull it off. Not
only
the station should
be built
,
but
also
a new rail should
be made
to connect to other stations, which are
fairly
demanding tasks.
Furthermore
, all these essential works to
make
a train run are
fairly
expensive
as well
.
On the other hand
, it is much cheaper and less time-consuming to enhance Internet
access
. This is
mainly
because
a basic web for Internet
access
is already more or less established
given
the research indicates that 90 percent of the population has an
access
to the Internet either at home or at work. The
only
step
left
is to upgrade the existing services, which will cost less time and money than building a new one.



To sum up, as society is requiring
people
to adapt to the digitalized world, Internet
access
has growing importance of our daily
lives
.
Given
this prospect
as well
as the economic values, I
strongly
believe that it is wise to invest
government
budget on the improvement of Internet
access
.
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IELTS essay Where to spend government budget?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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